How do I move forward?

Hello all. I am glad I have just found out about this online community. I am in my 40’s and lost my Mum in 2013 and my Dad in 2017. Back in 2017, I created a new life for myself as I moved to a different property. That helped by being a distraction, but now, I am not coping well and thinking it might be delayed grief. I am receiving support but not for my grief. Even when I do something good and feel proud about something I have achieved, I often dismiss how I feel, just because I have no one living with me, to congratulate me and be proud of me. My sister is too busy to help me much and we don’t get along that well, unfortunately.

Hello,

I was interested to read your post as am in a similar situation following the loss of my Mum in 2016. For you it is especially hard though to have lost both your parents within a few years of each other and I was so sad for you reading that.

I lived with my Mum so took the decision to move away from my home area, new start and all that. The sorting out of Mum’s estate, clearing her house, selling it and buying my first home occupied me until last summer. I am slowly sorting out my new home, have unpacked all the boxes but have things everywhere and move them around in a lethargic manner.

Like you I have a sibling who I don’t get on particularly well with. Moving away has helped as I am no longer at their beck and call. I also live alone and mostly am happy with it. Yes someone to say ‘well done’ when you have achieved something would be wonderful. What I miss is someone to just give me a hug when I feel low. My sister hates physical contact and would probably punch me if I got too close to her. When I moved she gave me a very nice house warming present and without thinking I put my arm round her and pecked her on the cheek. She made it very clear she idn’t want me to do it again!

As you can see I have no answers but wanted you to know you are not alone in these thoughts. Whether it is delayed grief I don’t know. In my case I think it is part of acceptance that I am now on my own and have to come to terms with that. I am slowly making a new life for myself, gradually meeting my new neighbours and hope the future will improve.

I hope the same for you too.

Mel

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