How do I stop feeling like this

We had our daughter at 20 weeks gestation and she was born healthy and breathing, but because I wasn’t 22 weeks they wouldn’t help her :broken_heart: I just had to watch her slowly slip away! I’m so angry and upset… please tell me it will get better??

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Hello @Jadehoulihan,

I’m Seaneen part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your daughter. Many of our community members have sadly experienced the loss of a child and so will understand some of what you are going through.

Sands offer support to families who have lost their child before birth or through stillbirth. They have a website at Their telephone helpline is free to call from landlines and mobiles on 0808 164 3332 .

The team are available to speak to from 10am to 3pm Monday to Friday and 6pm to 9pm Tuesday and Thursday evenings.

The helpline team can also be contacted at

You may also find the following Sue Ryder resources helpful:

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please do keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,


Hi my daughter lost her baby at 22 weeks and she was born alive and lived for two hours .they just left her with a baby .its so cruel im so sorry for your very sad loss .theres no answers sending you big hugs zoe xx

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That’s awful, I was told that they would try and help if I’d have been 22 weeks… it’s so hard to just sit and have to watch them slip away! My daughter Eva was so perfect, I can’t help thinking what if! :sob:

I’m so sorry for you daughters loss xxx

I know my lovely its so very cruel . Very hard to accept .did you get a death certificate for your beautiful baby girl x

Yes, we had to register her birth and death on the same day. It was heartbreaking but I was thankful that Eva was recognised as a person of that makes Sense. Xx

Of course .Eva deserves that .im so sorry my daughter lost her baby girl Elsie .in 2017 .she is buried . Never be scared to talk .you need to she was your baby girl . I lost my son he was just 25 .he had sarcoma a rare cancer was ill four months and we lost him .this life is very cruel sending you all my love love zoe xx


Yes it will get better but it will take time.

You won’t forget your little one, but in time you may find comfort in knowing that she will never suffer or have to face tbe difficulties that many premature babies have to deal with and these can often be lifelong.

There is no easy way of dealing with the loss of a child of any age. Be kind to and patient with yourself .
Could you maybe try and find the actual cause of her death and please know that although you will grieve in your own way, you are not alone.

You should be able to get some support from your local maternity unit, please get all the support you feel you need. x