How do I support my dad now mum has gone?

Losing a parent
1

My parents live abroad and have done for 20+ years. Now my mum has gone, my dad is left there alone while I live here in the UK. I am really struggling with him being so far away and not being able to be there for him in person. We talk every morning and every night but I dont think thats enough. I just dont know whats best to do to support him.

1 Like
2

Has he said he wants to come back? Or that he is struggling? Or are you a worried daughter worrying about her dad? Its great that you talk so often too

3

The idea of him moving back has been mentioned by both of us. He has said that the thought of sorting stuff to move is very overwhelming for him. It has only been 6 weeks since mum passed so its still early really. He is having good days and bad days which is to be expected. I know i am definitely being the worries daughter.

1 Like
4

@RachaelMary he will be so glad to hear ypur voice everyday, I am sure of that. Its all still very raw for you all at the moment, your voice is probably keeping him going at the moment. I can imagine going through his wifes stuff would be traumatic for him, it might ease in time. Hes lucky to have you worrying for him

1 Like
5

Im going over at the end of the month for a week so we can sort through some of her stuff together, not to throw away or get rid of but just to organise for now. And my plan is to go over every few weeks.

1 Like
6

Thats great, source of comfort for you both.

7

Hi RachaelMary, Iā€™m so sorry for your loss. It is so hard being the worried daughter at such a time. I went through this last year with my dad, so maybe a similar situation. Mum died suddenly, they live 100+ miles away in a remote area not easy to get to. I went home for most of last summer (thankfully I work from home so could do this). I was able to help with navigating the domestic stuff which was overwhelming for dad to deal with along with the grief, and we could be there for each other. Now am back in my own home in the city and we talk a couple of times a day. I find it helpful and we have good chats. I wish you lots of strength and good conversations with your dad, he will be so glad you are there for him. Mind and take care of yourself too. G x

2 Likes