How do I survive this ?

Will someone please tell me how to live with the pain of loosing my Mum last June and my husband last November with sudden heart attack, thanks x

Hi sue
Its my mums first anniversary on sunday and I’m no nearer coping with losing her. She had a sudden brain haemorrhage on the 13th june and died on the 14th.
I am still in shock. Mum was active, funny and the centre of our lives. I have had a very dark year and I can honestly say that I will never be the same again. All I can do is take each day as it comes and hope that one day some enjoyment comes back in my life.
I’m sorry that you have lost your husband as well. This must be awful for you. There are many people on here who can give you comfort and are suffering the loss of a partner.
Cheryl x

Hi, I am similar to yourself in that i lost my father in the October and my husband in the following May.

For me my overriding feelings were of shock and horror and disbelieve that the two main men in my life were gone.

I questioned myself a lot as I was the main person for both of them, had I done enough etc…

Getting back to work helped to give my brain a bit of a rest, I also moved bedrooms as couldn’t bear to be in there without my husband, the spare room had a single bed which helped somehow and I developed a new routine that I stuck too, in the first few months I went to our normal supermarket and had to abandon my trolley as all I could see was the food I’d have bought my husband and it floored me and I couldn’t sit in our garden at all as that is what we did and enjoyed.

I am over a year along now and I can say that I feel things have improved, I am back in our bedroom, I can go back to our supermarket and I can sit in our garden again and the awful memories are being replaced with the happy ones, so for me time passing has helped.

I can look at photos and smile and am thankful for all the good times, I think my dad and husband are willing me on and that I will be with them again, I have found an inner strength from somewhere.

Grief is the worst thing that has ever happened to me, if we love we will grieve that loss.

But i have realised there is a way forward when for a long time I couldn’t imagine that, yes I have bad days sometimes but I’m still here and find I can smile and laugh and find enjoyment in life again.


Hi Cheryl ,thanks for reply .I had no idea how painful grief could be ,I havent felt normal for a year now the worse was my husband as unexpected ,my daughter and I were with him but he went so quick none of us realised what was happening he was 72 .Like you I’ve been in shock sorry you lost your Mum like that .I sometimes get so overwhelmed that my brain seems to shut down but I do get better days .I hope you start to enjoy life soon ,take care Sue x

Hi flower _garden ,thanks for your reply, I was in a very difficult place when I posted that .I’m very up and down ,like you I’m in spare room and I want to go to places we went together in case he’s there ! Of course I know he wont be but it helps me remember him .I’m sorry to hear you lost two important people in you life so close together as I did and I’m glad that you are finding you can smile again and that encourages me ,take care ,Sue x

Thank you sue. You too.
My mum was 74. I thought she would live till she was 90 x