I sadly lost my wonderful husband to cancer 7 weeks ago.Was such a devastating shock as he was getting better or so we thought.It swooped in and took him.35 years together. How do.you carry on .Just feel so lost and in pain.Crying all the time and the house is so empty.
2 grown up children and 2 new Grandchildren which I love but feel so empty.
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I know its terrible. i was married 35 years too ! Its very early days though and you have to grieve. Xxx
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Hi Tracey57, I seem to be up late tonight, it’s a good place you’ve found, everyone here is in the same boat. We can’t make it any less shit but we can definitely try and help. The pain will fade, it will get easier. It’s been 9 months since my wife passed, you never lose them.
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@Tracey57 so sorry for your loss. I can totally relate. It’s been almost 17 weeks for me. I too was married nearly 35 years and lost my husband to cancer. We thought he was being cured and found out 4 months before he passed it was terminal. Life is cruel. Keep chatting on here it really helps. Sending hugs.
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@Tracey57 we were together 50 years. It has been just 2 months for me and it is still very raw. Today is a bad day but yesterday I was so busy I almost got through the day without crying. My husband was diagnosed with cancer and started bleeding 2 days later. Went into hospital where he was dead within the week. As we retired in our 50’s at least we had lots of retirement time together. Take one day at a time and all the help and support you are offered. You will need it. Love and hugs. Sandra
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I don’t think you do, you muddle on. It’s depressing in the beginning, you think your life is over, you can’t imagine ever feeling happy again.
I’m 10 months on and let me tell you, you can and will feel happy and laugh. Although the waves when they hit, are devastating and take me by surprise. They come when you think you’re over the worst.
I’ve seen plenty of documentaries where people have lost loved ones and years down the line it still upsets them. I’ve just learned to live with the fact that it will be with me forever. However, you just have to make the most of the good days. Also, when you’re having a bad day, don’t run with it thinking it’s all bad. That’s my problem and I must stop.
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Hi it’s five months for me cry everyday , do get out have good family and friends but miss David so much , not yet returned to work waiting on counselling hopefully won’t be much longer , it’s such a different way of life and not the one we want take care all
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Exactly …we didnt chose this did we … 
xx
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Terry. Five weeks today for me too. It was about this time of day when the Paramedics said they were arranging for him to go to the Hospice for a few days for review. When I arrived the Consultant saw me and told me he thought it would now be just weeks. An hour later it was days, and by the afternoon he was advising me to tell the family to come immediately. Paul died that evening.
I am so very lost without him.
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I collected his ashes today. I thought facing the funeral was bad enough but I have just howled for hours over that box. Now it is very real.
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Terry. Yes you are correct. I exhausted myself with crying over his ashes but I then put them on his bedside table and last night had over six hours unbroken sleep.
I intend to put some of them into a large pot with an olive tree in the garden. For the six years we have lived here, since we moved south, he has hated our back garden. He spent much of the early spring redesigning it as a ‘Moroccan courtyard’ with a deck at the back to sit and look at the sea. There is a perfect spot there for a tree in a pot that can move with me when, and if, I need to move elsewhere. He also adored Christmas and all the ‘bling’ so a tiny bit of him will be a glass star for my trees.
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