I lost my mum on 7/8 after she fought a long hard battle agaonst breast cancer- after 5 years remission it returned in her breast,lung, liver and eventually brain- she fought all the way to end but died quite suddenly in the end- i dont know how i feel- i dont know if im in shock or numb or what i feel- how do you go on without the person who gave you life and purpose
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@Kezzahw1 so sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is devastating and takes a while to sink in. The range of emotions that you go through in the first week will leave you exhausted. It’s a long road, so take the time to let it all digest. This group is great at letting you vent and helping you understand your emotions. X
Thankyou paulk its horrible
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Yeah, I went through it with my mum too. Devestating just doesnt seem enough of an emotion to describe it.
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@Kezzahw1 So sorry about your Mum. You will be in shock, numb, all those things there’s so many feelings and everyone is different and cope in different ways. I lost my Mum in May this year, it was sudden and 3 months on I still feel traumatised. My mum was so lovely, my best friend and I still can’t comprehend life without her in ours. There’s so many people on here going through grief, we have to try and support each other the best way we can. I never realised so many people were taking it this hard, I thought it was just me as I had such a special bond with my Mum, it really has floored me. Have you got some support around you? you really find out at this time who is and isn’t there for you. Sending a hug.
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I have my 2 sisters but 1 of my sisters was my mums carer and she has mental health issues that scares me to death to think she might hurt herself.x
@Kezzahw1
That really must be a worry with your sister that cared for your Mum. Can your other sister support? It does sound like you need some help both for your sister and for you. It’s such early days too for you and there will be lots of other things to sort. Take all the help you can from friends and family, it’s an awful situation to be in. x
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So so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad last month and he was my best friend. He had a heart attack in May and went through massive surgery that should have prolonged his life by 20 years and he died anyways of a massive heart attack a few weeks later. I’m absolutely devastated and don’t know how to move on without him in my life. I’ve lost both parents within 5 years of each other and feel so alone
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To make things even worse it’s my birthday tomorrow, he should be here. I’m turning 42 and I feel like I’m being transported back to childhood and just want my mam and dad here
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Im so sorry to hear that 
xx
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@Andrea1982
Andrea, I understand the devastation you’re feeling, it all feels so unfair doesn’t it. The shock and the range of emotions you go through, the vulnerability you feel and I do completely get being transported back to childhood, that’s just how I feel since my Mum died. I feel like I’m a child inside, scared and emotionally in need of my Mum, she was always the person that helped me feel better about everything.
I know I keep saying this on here but so many of us are in similar places emotionally, feeling wrecked, I just feel ungrounded and a mess inside.
Your birthday will come and go Andrea, I’m dreading all of those things too and Christmas. Do you have family and friends to support you Andrea? Sending a hug.
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I’m really close to my sister, there is just us left now. We lost our mam in similar circumstances coming up 5 years ago and we were just getting over that then we had all the stress and worried sick about dad with this massive open heart surgery, we never saw dad scared of anything, he was terrified but we kept strong and positive for dad. He went through all that pain for what now feels for nothing. His aftercare was shocking as well. He had some health issues but nothing life threatening. I don’t think I’ll ever come to terms with this. I can’t believe what we’ve been through this last month, I need scraping up off the floor today 
Tomorrow, my birthday, will be very low key. I don’t even want to leave the house. Christmas will be the same. I’m trying to keep busy but there’s just reminders everywhere I look. I channeled everything I had into dad this last year. I got him moved into a lovely new home in December, he was finally settling down and happy in his retirement. His world revolved around us and the same for me and my sister. He lived for his family
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@Kezzahw1 I am so very sorry, can only offer a hug, we understand here. Lost my mum in April and I in a sad haze almost all the time, trying to function. Highly recommend walks in nature if you can and 1 day or hour at a time. Your mum fought very hard and this will be numb, shock, pain, all in one.
@Andrea1982 so sorry about your dad and I hope you have a calm day tomorrow, I found my birthday last month really hard but looking back the build up was the hardest not the day itself. Yesterday was a special day and that was hard too. These Firsts are very difficult. Hug to you x
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I know that feeling, it’s gone through my head time and time again. I can’t understand life at the moment, it’s a struggle.
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@Andrea1982
It’s good you’ve got your sister I hope you can help each other going forward.
Oh Andrea re: scraping up off the floor I know, it’s so hard and unpredictable, the feelings, the waves of emotions and not knowing from one day to the next if it’s going to be worse. I never know when I wake up how it’s going to be.
Everyone I’ve talked with say your own birthday, your loved one’s birthday and Christmas are difficult. I’m dreading Christmas. Mum’s and our lives revolved around each other too.
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