How do you cope with a double loss

Hi I am new to this group, on the 25th of November I lost my mum and my nan within an hour of each other. I’m still in shock, they haven’t had their funerals yet, my Nans funeral is on 21st December and my mums isn’t until 6th January. What do I do, I’ve never experienced grief before, the thought of Christmas is unbearable. I had to go back to work yesterday and I hate it. I just don’t know what to do or how to carry on. How can two people die like that, my nan died from pneumonia and was only poorly for 36 hours then she was gone, my mum died at home in her sleep from Covid. It’s so hard and I feel so alone. The first week everyone rallied round me but nobody is here now and it’s like I’m expected to return to normality already :frowning:

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I’m so sorry for your loss and to lose both your mother and grandmother at the same time must be devastating for you. My grandad died in September and I’m still coming to terms with his loss. It’ll be 12 weeks on Christmas Day since his passing and like you, I’m dreading it! I’ve been on autopilot since he died and I still am. Went back to work two days after the funeral and just kept my chin up and carried on. I have to be a support raft to both my grandma and auntie now as it’s hit them both very hard. My grandma is a lost soul now and my auntie has been “carrying on”, but I can see the pain in both their eyes and it’s constantly breaking my heart. Honour both of them by carrying on, even if you don’t feel like it. Small steps, it won’t be easy but it’s the only way to keep going.

Take care and remember that you’re not alone in your grief.

Alex

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Hi,

amyw,

So sorry for your loss,like you i have experienced a double loss,both my Mum and Dad,Mum sadly passed away in August 2017,and my Dad in August 2019. So similar to yourself. My life now is just not the same,i miss them everyday,and i am still very much in grief,how can it be coming up to the 5th Christmas without my Mum,and the third without my Dad? I get through each day for my 15 year old son,but often have days that i feel very low,on top of battling an illness that i have suffered from for almost 10 years. I feel i have virtually no family left. My advice like we all have to try to do on here,is just get through each day,there is no other choice. Take one day at a time,would be my best advice,reach out to your friends,doctor,or family. Thinking of you,Lucy,xxx

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Amyw, I’m so sorry to hear of both of your losses.
I lost my mother five weeks ago and am finding it really difficult. My heart goes out to you losing your nan and your mum, the pain must be immense. X kieran