You can’t expect to feel anything other than the way you do at the present time as it’s still very early days . It will get easier as time goes by. My dad died suddenly when he was 47 and I was 17. I loved him very much , and I still do. I’m 58 now and will never , ever forget him . I still talk to him in the car , at home , sometimes just silently in my head and it helps a bit. I believe in a life after this one and know I’ll see him again one day . That helps too. In the meantime , try to make the best of your life , for yourself and for him . Life is difficult, there’s no doubt about that , but while you’re here , you need to get the most out of it that you can . Paul