A week ago I went to Majorca with my daughter. It was a stressful trip because I was going to sign paperwork to remove my wife’s name from the deeds of our retirement home we have there. I can’t face going there anymore, it was our future and that’s now gone.
I thought the trip would be the worst bit. The worst bit was returning to the empty house and expecting her to be here. I have gone downhill since and hate this empty life.
I struggle seeing a time in the future when I can be happy again. Like everyone in this position we just need to see a light at the end of the tunnel
3 Likes
I don’t think I am expecting to be happy again .My happy life was the life I had with my hubby of over 50 years . It is a fact that in a lifelong commitment one of you is going to go first . This time now I will spend alone supported by our lovely family . It won’t be a happy time as there will be times of great sadness for what I have lost BUT there will be moments of joy as I share my old age with my children and grandchildren and I am thankful for the memories .
Give yourself time as no you won’t forget but you will learn to accept I assure you 
x
3 Likes
Thanks for your reply. We we’re together for over 40 years. So it’s so hard to accept. I thought we would grow old together. I know it’s still early days.
Take care
4 Likes
I agree it is the acceptance that is so hard to bear,it still feels so unreal that my wife has really gone out of my life for ever.It has only been 5 weeks but 5 weeks of a living hell dealing with this grief.Being alone in our house,waking up to an empty house is scaring me to death every morning.Michael.
2 Likes
Oh my just reading your message gave me goose bumps,it is exactly how I feel right now.Having to remove your wife’s name from things is so heartbreaking and brings it home to you the utter reality of it all.Yes and coming home to the empty house every day is so hard as well,she is not there to say hello darling anymore.I am crying whilst I am writing this to you because I am so unhappy this Sunday morning with the clocks going back and knowing that long dark winter nights are coming and we are going to be alone in these empty houses.I also struggle to see if I will ever be happy again,getting older on your own is no fun,I am 76 and scared stiff.Michael.
3 Likes
Hi Michael, it helps I think to know that we’re not alone in our grief and we’re not abnormal! We’ve just lost the love of our lives. I think the pain we have is the price of loving someone so much isn’t it? But weren’t we so lucky to have known that love? Hang on to that. When I go to bed at night I look at his picture and tell him that I’m another day closer to being with him again but meanwhile, I have to live for us both. He wouldn’t want me to give up, no matter how often I want to. Viv x
3 Likes
Hi I know we are not alone in our grief and that She would not want me to feel this way.But I am struggling so much with her loss that it scares me to death.I also have a picture of my wife in the bedroom .Michael.
2 Likes
Hi Clare Iam 4 years sober in aa lost my girlfriend of 5 years on 30th June 2020 she died in her sleep on the 9th sep this year I was 4 years sober on her birthday it taught me about enjoyed life
3 Likes
Hello Clare, I understand that feeling. I lost my second husband almost 2 years ago. I had a girlie few days away recently and my friends rang their husbands lots (as I would have done) then there were3 husbands waiting at station. I really struggled going home to empty house but I feel I can’t shut myself away, even tho I could easily, as I need to make new memories. That’s easy to say and the most difficult thing to do. Grief is relentless but we somehow have to get through it. Best wishes and a hug Maureen xx
1 Like
Yes grief is relentless ,I am 9 weeks into my grief for my lovely wife Judith,I am not coping at all with this new life alone.I go to bed very early to shut myself away from the world.Hating being alone,just want to be with her again. Michael x
1 Like