My son came today and during our chat I made the comment “ this isn’t a life now it’s just an existence ” and he said what do you mean by that .
I found it hard to explain but I suppose what I really wanted to say being alone day in day out isn’t a life , life is for living and I don’t feel I’m living it .
I go through the motions of each day but nothing has any meaning or purpose anymore .
When me and my son were sat in my living room for a split second I felt really happy and thought this is exactly what I want and need just having someone here to chat with or to just be around .
I long to meet someone now because I need to feel needed not that for one minute I want to forget my Rob because that won’t happen in a million years but I yearn for that companionship ,but I feel guilty for feeling this way . I’m really not coping with this loneliness
Dear @Kazzer
The hardest part of being a widow is the loneliness and missing having someone around especially to chat to about your day. After losing a loved one you do exist for a while as you feel guilty for living. It is normal to feel like that.
Have you considered getting involved in voluntary work in your local area where you can meet up with people? You could volunteer for helping out at Food Banks, the local Library or even at the local hospital.
Think about what you enjoy doing and what you would like to get involved in that would make you smile again. It is scary to make this step as it is a big change in your life going solo but you can do it and your son will see that you are starting to live again.
Carrying on does not mean you will ever forget your Rob. He will always be with you in your heart where ever you go? He would want you to carry on and not be lonely.
Keep us updated with what you are doing and continue to reach out here. We are all here for you.
Take care.
Pepsi
Pepsi thank you so much for your words of comfort. I do still work as a carer but this week I have felt it so much as Iv been isolating due to testing positive.
I look after my two grandchildren and I have two kids .
But it’s the evenings I find so so hard
Dear @Kazzer
I am sorry to hear you have tested positive. Isolation is so horrible as you are even more cut off from the world.
Do you like reading? What about setting up an evening online book reading group to start interacting with people for your area if there is not one already. Alternatively there are social media online reading groups on Facebook you could join.
There is a website called Reading Groups for Everyone. If you put in your postcode you could see if there are any groups in your area you could possibly join.
I do hope you are starting to feel better and make a quick recovery from Covid.
Take care.
Pepsi
`
Pepsi I have tested negative twice in 24 hours so I can go back to work next week . I do read but since rob has passed away I find it hard to retain what Iv read. I love music and especially northern soul and when I can got to avenue I go with my cousin but she always leaves it an open invitation and I never ask if I can go with her it just feels child like . But I will ask her more often I really need to go out more , and make more of an effort . I have a friend in the Isle of Wight ( miles away from me) who is also a widow and I speak to her EVERYDAY via messenger . So my life isn’t all doom and gloom I’m just feeling sorry for myself . I do diamond art which I love at the minuet . Thank you for you ideas please take care xxx
It is ok to feel sorry for yourself. Fantastic new you are negative. You must have alot of patience for Diamond Art, I actually tried it but gave it up. Feel free to post photos of your beautiful artwork here. It all helps with the grieving process.
Glad you are back at work next week but do take care of yourself.
Pepsi. x
This is one of my diamond art pictures I have done and it has helped me get through the evenings hope you like it
I love this and you are so talented. It is beautiful. I don’t think I got past 2 rows when I had a go! Please do keep sharing your beautiful Diamond artwork. I am sure your artwork will inspire others to have a go and this will lead to another conversation which will connect you to more members.
Thank you for sharing your work.
Pepsi x
Pepsi thank you I will share another
Hi I know exactly how you feel it’s easier to remember what is missing father that what we still have to carry on for. I too think it would be nice to have a companion someone to cook a meal for and enjoy company yes it feels guilty for the one we’re lost but we need to be happy anne
Hi I felt the same I lost my wife to cancer 2 years ago. I have met a wonderful lady through my church she’s a fantastic support. At the time of my wife’s passing I also felt there was no point to life I would cry myself to sleep each night but because of my Christian beliefs I feel like I have almost come out the other side I still have times of sadness when occasion’s bring back the happy memories then I find somewhere to have a good bawl I think the acceptance that my life has changed has really helped me. I’m getting married again in September but the life I had before is etched in my memory and nothing can erase the happiness of that. My new partner is very understanding and accepting of this.
If you feel you need someone in your life go for it even if it’s just someone for companionship.
May the the lord bless you in your decision