How do you go on?

When I was 13 I lost my older sister she was murdered by her ex partner and recently I’ve lost my older brother very suddenly. I feel lost I can’t really talk to family as everyone is all equally upset. I plaster on a smile as I know my brother wouldn’t want me upset just still doesn’t seem real. It hurts everyday but I know I have to be strong. I’m just worried because I was pretty antisocial before due to my sisters death but I just feel so angry. Any suggestions I would be very grateful

Hello Jacqui.

I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your brother. I can understand your sadness and also the anger you feel. To have lost both older siblings is very traumatic for you.

I’m glad that you’ve been able to share how you are feeling here, and I hope that you find the community a good source of support. Everyone here has experienced the loss of a loved one and will understand some of what you are going through.

Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here:

Another good place to get support is Cruse Bereavement, they offer a helpline, email support, and counselling and support groups through their local services: 0808 808 1677,,

Take care,


Online Community team

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Thank you for your response I have previously had counselling from my sisters death I just feel devoid of emotions apart from anger. Thank you for taking the time to response.

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Hi. Jacqui. Anger is normal in bereavement, well at first anyway. The whole world seems to have turned against us. ‘Why me’? is always the unanswered question. The acceptance of the fact that any emotion in the circumstances is normal in this process we call grief, can help. Being antisocial is not a big problem because so many like to be alone. In grief communication is important, and that’s why it’s so good you are here. It’s not easy talking to those who may not understand how you feel. We all do here so you are among friends. You don’t ‘have to be strong’ if that means bottling up emotions. The strength to cope lies within you, not some outer appearance. Be kind to yourself and those others who mourn. Take it all very slowly. Blessings. John.

Thank you Jonathan123 yeah it’s just hard the first time I lost my sister at age 13 this time I’ve accepted it quicker thinking just why us like we are good people kind considerate we are alot closer since my sisters passing. This death of my brother is hard as we don’t have any answers as to why he has died. Hope you are well take care

I know you posted this a while ago but I’m new to the page. My 50 yr old brother was killed on 26 Feb 2022 by a man who committed suicide by driving at 80 mph the wrong way down a dual carriageway, at 12 noon on a Saturday afternoon.
That makes it murder in my eyes.
I don’t know how to be. My parents are completely broken. His wife and children are devastated.
He and I had fallen out before his death so I don’t feel I have a right to be upset and traumatised by it.
I hope you’re doing ok and send all my love