I am truly sorry for your loss 
I lost my partner of 18 years just two weeks ago. We held Andrews funeral on Friday, although it was heartbreaking to be attending the love of my life’s funeral, strangly it was really lovely everyone comming together to say goodbye.
Sending strength and love. You’ll get through the funeral, try and embrace everyone’s shared grief and truly listen to the poems, uology and prayers that have been chosen to say goodbye xx
I feel totally lost today , so many mixed emotions from anger, disappointed to feeling despair. My life has changed in 3 weeks and 6 days since he passed, and i feel like he was two different people. One a living husband but also another who was deceitful and wasn’t telling the whole truth. I just dont know how I’m supposed to make sense of it all. We were together for 13 years and got married in December last year on the 4th, the day we met 13 years ago. My youngest daughter is distraught over her step dad as he was the only father figure she knew. But now it makes me angry that he didn’t think enough of our three kids , even though they weren’t biologically his to leave them anything in his will. He also didn’t leave me any assets, only his share in our house. He left everything to his son, who is in prison and is a nasty person. Im finding it so hard to get my head round as he never sat me down and told me about this. It’s like i was living with a different person xx
Like so many, I felt I was coping a bit better and then back down again.
It is 10 weeks today that I last had a full day with him. It was a wet Saturday and we only went out for a few things in a local shop. The rest of the day we were home together. That’s the important point, together. How I miss that wet Saturday.
I am just thinking about how I felt waking up that Saturday morning next to him.
He would have gone to the kitchen and put the kettle on. Then fed the cats, I would listen to him talking to them, I loved to hear that. Then back with our tea which we would drink in bed together. How I miss that.
How do I go on?
I suppose I have 2 reasons.
Of course, for my husband.
I hate not having him with me.
I want what I cannot have, my old life with him.
We never talked about what would happen when one of us went but knowing his personality and attitude in life he would want me to go on.
Second, our cats.
They are our family in my eyes.
I love them so much, they need me and I definitely need them.
They adored him and he adored them.
They have been such a comfort to me.
One cuddled me during the day and the other slept near me at night.
Even with knowing that, it is incredibly difficult.
Love to all of you, Rose x
I agree going on without them
is the hardest thing ever.
I did know it was coming, for 6 weeks, thats all. I can’t believe how quickly the end came. I wanted longer but it would never have been long enough. And he was suffering, I didn’t want him to suffer anymore.
I keep going because I promised him I would, not knowing how hard it would be. And for my family.
Love to you all x
I’m so sorry for your loss. I do know how you feel. I’m further on than you (11 weeks) but the gut wrenching pain is still there
Thinking of you
Sending you love and hugs