It is two years since I lost my partner to cancer. I still feel deep grief.
Hard to generate any motivation. Trying to find purpose and meaning again–exhausting and tiring.
If you can offer any ideas, that would help me now.
Batman
3 Likes
Hello,
I remember you writing that June is a difficult month.
I am sorry.
From reading posts on here,
some people find doing something not connected with their loved one.
For instance, I don’t follow football and my husband wasn’t interested in it. However, I have started watching when Scotland England are playing.
Sometimes my attention strays.
Also the matches can be frustrating.
I will try and get the energy to try other little things that I did a long time ago, such as various crafts.
Has anything made taken your interest,
even ever so slightly ?
It is very difficult, I totally understand.
Thinking of you,
Rose x
Hi, if it’s motivation to do everyday things, then perhaps making a list?
Rose x
Hi Batman I agree with Rose. When I go to bed I try and think of something I need to do the next day. It makes me get up and do it otherwise I end up being busy doing nothing. They are only small achievements but being only 8 weeks in I’m quite happy with that.
Perhaps think of something you always fancied doing but never got around to. That way it’s something new just for you and doesn’t hold any memories.
1 Like
Hi Rose are you feeling any better today or are you still feeling poorly? Xx
I have been up and down physically and emotionally.
So an improvement on yesterday.
How are you?
Love,
Rose xx
Hi @Batman
I have crafted for as long as I can remember, for a long time now I have been making greeting cards. And I loved doing it But since my husband died I can’t motivate myself to do them. There were times when I was pushed with an order he would help, cutting out and doing the decoupage. For Christmas he probably did more than me, he’d get up in the night to do them, and then he’d joke about slave labour 
But since he’s been gone I can’t bring myself to do it. The thought of it brings me to tears. I’ve completely lost interest.
I’m trying new hobbies now because I hate being idle and I have a lot of time to fill now.
Try and find something that might intetest you. There’s loads out there
Take care x
So glad you are improving Rose. You were really quite down at the beginning of the week and I was worried about you. But you know you’ll never be on your own with this lovely online community.
I’ve not been too bad today thanks, but things always seem a bit more positive when the sun is shining.
Love and hugs xx
1 Like
Jody, I am so very, very sorry I worried you.
Yes, you are right, I was quite down.
I really hope the way is up now, however slowly.
Thank you so much for your concern.
That really means so much to me.
I hope you are ok. Thinking of you.
Love and hugs,
Rose 
xx
1 Like
Please don’t apologise Rose. We all look out for each other on here.
I suppose when we get really down to rock bottom we have a choice - we either stay there or try and climb out slowly. I’m hoping with the support and understanding from this community we can slowly improve gradually. We know from others experiences we will always get days when it hits you all over again ( particularly Sundays for us) but at least we won’t feel like it’s only us that this is happening to and is to be expected.
Lots of love 
2 Likes
Thanks Rose, jody, Liro.
Your comments are much appreciated.
I realise this is a lovely community, it makes a big difference you are out there.
My best wishes to you all.
Barman
Good morning @Batman
I hope to have helped in some small way
I agree this community is lovely. Everyone is so nice, understanding and supportive
Big hugs x
I have dogs, they have to be fed and walked. Sometimes I walk so slowly because of my grief. I dont enjoy the walks the way I used to but I have to do it. One dog is still a puppy, I have to train her, its not easy but I know I have to do it. One dog is diabetic and has to eat at regular times and have her insulin injection at the same times each day. These tasks get me out of bed but as soon as the evening feeds and injection is done I go to bed. I would be lost without them
Hi @abl
Its good that the dogs give you something to get up for.
I’m 17 weeks in now but in the early days I realy had to force myself out of bed.
I still do sometimes.
I dont know how far into this awful journey you are, but I am finding I’m starting to cope a bit. I still have tears, a lot, every day, but I’m starting to move forward, albeit very slowly.
Sending love and big hugs x
Thank you Liro, 3 months, today Im coping, yesterday something reminded me of my son and I cried all day. I cry sometimes walking the dogs. Hugs to you too x
So very sorry.
Memories can return at any time and upset us.
Take care.
It hug,
Rose xx