I’m just over 2 weeks in from loosing my world 
I know it’s still very early but I can’t take this pain.
I’m pushing my little boy away when he tries to comfort me and I can’t be in our house. I’m staying with my parents at the moment.
I feel ridiculous anger towards people I see who are happy, those who are enjoying their families and getting on with life. I feel like my life stopped when his did. Although he was fighting cancer for over 4 years, it was only the end of last year that he started becoming poorly and I’ve blinked and he’s gone. I spent every minute I could researching the next treatment or fighting against the NHS and now there’s nothing.
I went to see him last week and walked out after 5 minutes utterly distraught. The world doesn’t seem safe anymore without him here and it breaks me that our little boy has to grow up without his amazing Daddy. Meanwhile there’s all these awful people who cheat on their partners and don’t bother with their children
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I’m so sorry Carly. Your anger is absolutely understandable.
I just wanted to give your thread a gentle bump as I’m sure one of our members will have some thoughts to share.
Carly you are at the beginning of a difficult time. I hope you find some help soon as you and your boy need help to process your bereavement.
Lots of strength
Tom
Hi Carly,
I am so sorry for your loss. X I too lost my husband to cancer. He was failed by the NHS and I had so much anger/hate to the people who let him down. If they had done there job he would still be alive. You will bounce between anger and despair. Unfortunately it just takes time and you just need to try each day by day. Don’t put pressure on yourself. Be kind to yourself and try to breathe. Hug your little boy tight. You need each other. Xxx
Take care my lovely xx
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I really understand your feelings and your grief is so early. I still feel every one of those emotions at five and a half months. Grief may become easier to deal with but never really subsides. Your child will be grieving too so try to be strong for him however difficult it is. I still get envious of couples. I was with my partner for 40 years and cannot get used to this new life. Feelings of vulnerability and sadness are a common thread on this site. It’s good you have support from your parents. I wish I could say you’ll feel better soon, unfortunately it’s a long process. Keep posting here, we are all on the same path.
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