I lost my husband of 32 years April 18 th 2026 he had a heart attack that after two months in a coma with a severe anoxic brain injury .He was my everything we had a love like no other I truly believe no one will ever love me the way he did .It wasn’t perfect but he loved me and I love him beyond what words can express .We have children but they don’t really want to be around someone so sad ruins their vibe I think .We were together everyday until his his brain injury but I was with him every minute possible .I never believed he would actually die .He even taught himself how to squeeze my hand three months before he died to communicate with me I was so happy other than that he couldn’t talk or walk or hardly move but he taught himself how to communicate with me .I was with him the day he died and after he coded three times he had coded times before this happened too but after his body and organs started shutting down and the last time he coded I agreed to let him go even though I felt it was mercy for the man I love then I feel so much guilt and regret and wonder if I did the right thing should I have let the Drs keep shocking him back to life just to code again .Maybe he could of got through it though he had Ceotic Shock.The guilt is crushing I know he wanted to live and not die he lived through so much before this but I felt overwhelmed by all the Drs and them telling me he wasn’t going to make it .Did I make the wrong decision the guilt and sadness is so overwhelming I have no friends and my kids have already went back to life as normal very very quickly after he died but of course he wasn’t their entire world …he was mine .If I could get some honest opinions or thoughts and I mean honest not just trying to say something nice about if I did the right thing I would feel blessed even if it’s something hard to hear I appreciate honesty .How does one go on after something like this
Dear @khardy78 ,
so sorry for the traumatic loss of your beloved husband.
Please don’t torment yourself with sentiments of guilt, you did do him the last favor by letting him go and not holding him back.
You are heavily traumatized and there are innumerable, contradictory emotions swirling around in your mind.
Please be kind to yourself and take good care of yourself!
Your husband is in Heaven now, looking out for you from above, patiently awaiting your reunion. In the meantime he also wants you to take care of yourself.
I could imagine that you don’t feel like eating so I’d like to recommend some high-calorie energy drinks for you.
They come in a wide variety of flavors, either ready-made or as a powder to mix with milk. It’s very important that your body gets the nutrients it needs.
And please post here whenever you feel like it, everyone in here is going through the same nightmare and will understand your pain, despair and sadness.
Sending strength to you, may God bless, guide and comfort you!
Kind regards - Joe
I’m so sorry for your loss which is really very recent. I lost my partner eight months ago and for me it hasn’t got any easier. As your husband had a hypoxic brain injury it’s unlikely he would have survived with any quality of life. Would he have wanted that? The numerous cardiac arrests suggest he was in some degree of heart failure too. I think many of us feel guilty about what we should have done or not have done following the death of a loved one. You were with him until he died and he knew that., I wasn’t even there in the last two days of my partner’s life, something I bitterly regret. It takes a long time to feel any better when you’re grieving. You feel that your heart has been ripped out. I’m sorry your children are not being more supportive, perhaps you should tell them how you feel. I was 16 when my dad was killed in a car accident and it was easier for me to move on than my mum. I remember her being so upset but felt inadequate not being able to help her. Losing a partner/husband/wife is one of the hardest losses. Your lives are totally intertwined, many people say that a big part of them died too. I would agree. Take care and keep posting on the site it has helped me greatly having my feelings validated.
Dear @khardy78 ,
I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your Husband, and the traumatic things you had to cope with over the last months.
The situation with my wife was different, but I noticed some similarities in what you say. I was faced with a decision on how the doctors should treat her as her condition worsened suddenly, and I chose what I thought was best for her. I fought so deeply to ensure that she was comfortable in her final hours, and that day has deeply scarred me.
The solace I find is that I didn’t want Ali to suffer, and the doctors were advising me from a place of professionalism and consideration for her wellbeing. Regardless , I still feel guilty that I didn’t fight more, or do more to help her survive. This is very normal, and talking to counsellors or medical professionals may help, as it did for me.
Talking to others is really important, so it’s good that you’re here. I think you will receive nothing but love from the other people here.
I’m sorry your family has deserted you in your time of need, and also that you have no friends. I am similar, in that my friends (and my wife’s) have all deserted me, and the more clearly I tell them I’m struggling, the less they are available. I understand how lonely this can be. Keep sharing, as much as you feel comfortable. 
Hi khardy, I am so sorry to hear your suffering. I think it’s quite normal to be beating your self up over what you did or didn’t do. We have all the time in the world now to go over everything we have done in our lives looking for a fault here an opportunity for a hug there that we missed but in the end we know we loved our partners more than our own lives and they loved us the same.
My wife died on Christmas day. She had cancer for two years before she died and she did everything possible to beat it. She would go on three day fast before each chemotherapy session and when she arrived she would do exercise on a static bike to help the chemotherapy work. At the beginning of December she went in for an intervention that didn’t go well a she got an infection. She tried to fight it but bit by bit it left her bedridden. The day she died her breathing was difficult she came in and out of consciousness six times each time she hugged me and said she loved me and I her, in the end I told her to go she called her mother and died. I hope they are together now in heaven.
I hope you find the peace you deserve. Your husband wouldn’t want you to be suffering over this. I think we waste too much time contemplating our possible faults when we should be celebrating the amazing blessing of having loved someone so completely for so many years. Of course I would have loved to have retired with my wife and lived to old age with her but I know I have had a little bit of heaven on earth with her
wishing you all the best
Tom
