I lost my son in March 2023 to a drugs overdose. Broken beyond words. However as time goes on I am starting to realise I’m not the same person anymore. I asked my partner am I the same, he said yes you are and I love you so much. I said I’m not the same as I have no tolerance to anything which seems trivial to me. I have no sympathy for much and my temper flares quickly. My so called best friend annoys me as she is constantly moaning about her health, she never asks how I am or coping or even mentions my sons name. I feel like screaming at her and telling her don’t you understand how hard and cruel my life is and I have to listen to your moaning,
Has anyone else had to experience this or any ideas on how to deal with a friend like this please. Thank you and sorry for moaning xx
There’s a chap on here called @Jim10
He’s written some really good and thought provoking posts . He also sadly lost his son .
One of them is about ‘other people ‘ he wrote on 12th Feb
Give it a read .
If you put ‘other people’ in the search bar his post will come up .
xx
Also I think we could tolerate a lot before and maybe having friends who just talked about themselves never really bothered us then.
However now we are changed and just can’t be doing with it .
I’d say be honest and tell her how you feel and if she takes offence maybe it’s time to say bye to her .
I’ve read a lot on grief and it’s quite common to lose friends ….sadly .
xx
@Nori I know I will lose some friends but I don’t care . I’ve lost my son . Things can’t get any worse .
I hope your day is ok tomorrow as I know it’s your anniversary.
xx
Thank you for that, will give it a read tomorrow. So kind of you to do that for me. I just can’t be bothered anymore. I just don’t need negativity at the moment. I’m sure even if I told her about how she never asks me how I am she would be oblivious and not even answer me. Maybe our friendship isn’t the same anymore and to be honest I can’t be dealing with her moans, Rant over xx
My sister did this and moaned about her husband and mine was gone a week prior
Thank you Tilly13 for asking. Well I’m ok today so far, had to do a changeover at my holiday let so have to do it, I’ve sort of got my head around the post mortem and toxicology results. I think google has answered most of them. Unfortunately I think from the amount of drugs my son used over a period of 14 years it didn’t do his organs any favours. I found on line a really interesting document about how drugs affect the organs. Not nice reading however beneficial to me. How are you doing. Remember little steps for us all. The sun is shining so I feel that helps as well. Thank you for your kindness xx
Glad you are ok .
How long is it until the inquest ? I bet you’ll be glad when it’s all over .
I’m okish I suppose . Just trying to stay composed for my daughter . I went to pieces last night though as we’d picked my boys ashes up .
I’ve never been religious but I have to believe I will see him again one day 
xx
When I had my sons ashes come back I lost the plot completely and wouldn’t let go of them. My poor partner that day ended up having to be really firm with you as I lost it outside in the garden. After I had put them in his final resting place I became calmer.
I really feel for you. Have you decided where the ashes are going yet. I talk to my son for hours some days, give me some peace in a way. The inquest is on 21 September. I’m not sure how I feel about it to be honest, can’t even think that far ahead. Some people say it gives closure. After I read the bundle from the coroner it gave me more heartache. Hope you can try and enjoy the rest of the day, difficult I know. I e been outside weeding, watering the garden as starting to feel restless again. Take care big hug xx
Not sure about ashes yet . They are in his room for now . I might get some jewellry made .
When it comes to losing a child I dont think we ever get closure ….or want it .
We want to carry our child with us in our hearts and minds forever.
I do think once the inquest is over you can start to move forward without it hanging over you .
xx
@MJG I haven’t lost a child but I’ve dealt with my share of self obsessed f*** wits. Years ago when my brother was diagnosed with CML, I told my then best friend & she didn’t say much. Her reaction was not how I would’ve been had the roles been reversed. I started to feel differently towards her & although our friendship limped on for a while, my view of her had changed. I avoided her msgs or had an excuse ready til it petered out & I’ve not heard from her since & that was about 15 years ago. I can do without fakes & frauds.
Hi Cee, you are in my wave length with friendship. My so called best friend in the early stages of me loosing me son she was great. However after his celebration of life, there was a police incident outside the crematorium. Someone said someone had been in the service and then arrested, I spoke to the police and totally unrelated. My so called best friend listened to the gossip, I told her it wasn’t true, she then said well that is what I’ve been told. It changed my view of her. She never asks how I am, never mentions my sons name, like he never existed and it hurts me. I see a lot less of her as she will always be talking about herself. Sorry I’m having a rant but you seem to understand. Thank you xx
Hey @MJG Totally get you!!! Sorry about your best friend’s attitude. I don’t get some people, they seem to revel in other people’s dramas, whether true or not. I do believe when you’re going thru a crisis, you really discover who you can rely on & whom to distance yourself from. If it’s all about them then call time on the friendship. I’m glad I could help 
hope you have a good week. X