Well my dear wife’s mother died when my wife was only 10 years old . How she became the rounded human being she became escapes me . I lost her at 64 years . So being laid to rest with her mother may have been a stretch for any recordes office . Plus i have told our son and daughter thats where i will join her when my time comes at the country park with nature not at a crematorium. My children and grandchildren still visit the park for walking !!
2 Likes
sounds perfect place!
2 Likes
Here is another conundrum! When my husband was very ill in hospital but just before he died, our daughter took some clips of him talking to her and the grandchildren plus some photos! So I have a record of him alive and talking albeit looking very poorly! whether to listen to these clips or not I am just not sure! would they be upsetting or comforting! Thoughts please! x
2 Likes
I have Robs ashes at home next to the bed, his Burial plot already has the headstone on it as he wants to be near my baby grandson who would be 22 this year and is 3 plots down. I just need to arrange to bury the ashes, I talk to him every day and wish I could hear him talk again. My daughter and family are coming to stay for a few nights and she is having my room so ive moved him to behind the setee for a few night’s. Hope he doesnt mind. I am finding more good days and looking forward to my holidays that ive booked, 2 in April and one in May. Its time to try to enjoy life in a new way, if I need to cry I can but travel is something we both loved to do and I promised to visit new places and make memories.
3 Likes
Yes you have to do it . Most definitely . I have waited 2 years i was 8 years my wife’s senior and a man so the odds where and are stacked against me . I never saw that coming im 74 in july and im as fit as a butchers dog i can walk for miles
and never had any health problems. BUT !! as we have a all found out that can all change . So thats why im doing the 2 big holidays this year and more to follow hopefully . Plus after my wife passed i sold the car and bought a small camper van and have joined a club called new companion’s for people who camp alone and are in the same boat . I have made new friends with people who get it !! X
2 Likes
I guess you can only know if you try. I took some videoclips of my mum when she was ill years ago and when I watched them later it brought on a horrendous pain and anxiety. It might not be the same for you, but I think it’s good to be prepared. When you’re in the midst of it you don’t quite realise how ill your loved one is, but with some distance it hits you hard. 
1 Like
It was ages before i could even have a picture of my darling girl on show . But time has moved on and now i have them everywhere . You will know when the time is right for you x
2 Likes
I looked at a camper van but not able to park one where I live. So coach holiday booked to Bavaria and small uk trips as well. I am on week 31 and 5 days of this lonley journey.
1 Like
Well thats absolutely fantastic . I can’t remember where my head was at that point its still very raw for you . But you have friends here !! X
1 Like
so true Ulma - thank you!
2 Likes
Personally I can’t look at photos at the moment as when I try it’s so gut wrenching and raw but I know in time I’ll get there, it’s down to trial and error unfortunately and everyone is different 
take care xx
1 Like
Jeff007.that looks great.had 15months without a car.but stepson dave found a car that we knew sue would have liked.its started to help me out for when i need to get out for a while to recollect my thoughts
1 Like
Thats good !!
1 Like
Jeff007.been after another 4x4 for a while
I collected mum’s ashes today to bring home, it is a comfort knowing they are there. I still have Dad’s ashes at home, he died 3 years ago. Best to check with the undertaker how long they keep the ashes they might return them to the crematorium if not collected. Sending hugs xx
1 Like
oh good advice Victoria , thank you x
1 Like
is it impertinent to ask where it best to keep them?
1 Like
My poor wife was under 5 stone; a living skeleton. She hated her appearance and didnt want photos taken.
There are photos of her meeting our new grandchild taken a week before she died, but i will never look at them.
I want to remember her before her illness robbed her of her looks, personality and smile.
2 Likes
Cynthonia .just looked on Google and they will keep ashes for 5 years now x
1 Like