How long before denial passes

My dear Mum died 2 weeks ago and I was there with her as she took her last breath, yet I cannot believe she has actually gone. I want to talk to her, hug her and see her again and cannot believe that I will never do this again.

My mind is playing tricks on me and I dont like it, every time I try and believe she has gone it is like it is happening all over again.

How long does the denial take to pass?


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maybe different for everyone.

maybe some months … losing a mother is a load.
I think back on it five years ago and it was nothing less than a freaky odd time.

please don’t take this as inelegant. it just was. I smelled sweet perfume returning home one night not too long after. some friends saw a spirit flit by when I had them for dinner, not too long after.

anyway I am VERY sorry for your loss. I know how deeply wounding it is. I went to grief classes for months after. I was so physically fragile I stayed in all of the time. also, those others in the class we were stranded on an island together but these strangers comforted me as none could because they were as deeply wounded as I was.

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Hi @Ali72

I’m very sorry for your loss, I too lost my mum it was sudden and I was there too and even though I knew she had gone because she wasn’t here it was only the other day where it hit me that I won’t ever see her again and even now I’m not sure I’m even through that stage yet. It’s a strange feeling to know someone isn’t physically there but at the same time you think they are there. The timescale is different for everyone and there’s no right or wrong with it it’s a hard thing to navigate through just be kind to yourself with it. X

I actually went through denial for ages I thought I was going crazy but I’m not if you see your l loved one in the doorway even though you know they have gone do not be afraid she is saying she still with you

I’m so sorry for your loss.
As the grieving for every person is different, the denial is too I think.
It took me a couple of months to accept that it is what it is (my dad passed away unexpectedly, he was in hospital but on the ‘normal’ ward but ended up on the ICU). I stayed home for two weeks after my dads passing and went back to work and everything else that was on my plate. I was about to go and live on my own and all that. Which was a little bit hard bc I wouldn’t leave my mom alone. But I did it bc dad was so proud of me. That was in august 11th 2020, due to covid I had last seen him very sick on august 7th at 11pm. I sometimes still feel in denial and of course miss him and want to see him smiling and walk through the door and hug him. I write letters to catch him up on what’s going on in my life. Just do what you think will help. I’ve also been a few times to counseling. You have to try to find a way to cope.