My husband died 8 weeks ago. I have a job dealing with benefits for the sick and vulnerable, visiting peoples homes with medical equipment or end of life etc. I just dont know when I should force myself back to work. I dont feel ready to face the world but I doubt I will for a long time. Those of you that work when did you return? Thank you
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I gave up a week before my husband’s funeral, told them that it would be better as I didn’t know how long it would take or if ever
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I went back to work after 7 weeks, my GP would have signed me off longer but I knew I would have to go back at some point. I needed to earn to pay the bills having just lost half our monthly income when my husband died.
It was hard, but looking back it did me good to have a routine again. But everyone is different, only you know when you are ready.
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@Debzz I went back 2 months after N died.
I felt forced into it and was quite resentful at the time but if I’m honest, I’m glad I returned when I did.
The routine and sense of purpose stopped me losing control of what was left of my life.
Facing colleagues was tough but I talked through a few scenarios with my counsellor and HR asked how they could support me best.
For me, it was important the people acknowledge N had died and to not ignore what had happened.
I hope you find your way x
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Everyone is different. Go back when it feels right for you, if you can afford it. I was off for nearly 6 months. My work kept me on full pay but I knew if I didnt go back I’d end up on half pay which would of been 25% of our original income. Within a few days it was if I’d never been away. And apart from the occasional insensitive comment it’s been a good move.
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My beloved husband of 33 years suddenly and unexpectedly died at the start of March.
My world ended. The grief and pain is indescribable.
I couldn’t function but my friends looked after me. My boss and company have been amazing and gave me two months compassionate leave: so incredibly generous.
I go back on Tuesday 6th May, the day after the bank holiday to give me a short week back.
That’s three weeks today. I think I’ll be ok by then, and I’ll also need the structure and purpose. I know I’ll still cry every day but if I stay off or leave work I’ll just sit home all day.
Dreading it, but also slightly looking forward to it now.
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I lost my partner two years ago, at the time our daughter was 8 months old so I took almost 7 months off working. I was lucky we had savings we were going to use for a house deposit, so I lived off that and sick pay. I think it did me well to spend the time with my daughter and find my bearings again, but the busy routine was nice going back. I found it quite hard after a few months to juggle everything on my own so I dropped a day at work and things are better now. May have less money but we get by. Suppose it will be different for everyone, just do what feels right for you, if you dont feel ready, chances are you arent
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Hi everyone. Thank you for your thoughts. G was my soulmate and tbh I am still in pieces. But I have gone from doing two job roles 60 + hours a week to just manically decluttering during the day and staring at the tv most of the night and I am not sure whether I should go back to get a routine again. The problem is I deal with vulnerable sick people and I am just not sure I can do it. I am signed off until 2nd maybe things will be clearer by then. I can’t afford to give up work or I would take that option.
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