How long until you start to feel better

Hi, I lost my mum suddenly 5 weeks ago today. She had not been ill previously & I was not prepared for her to not be part of my life. I was with her as she took her last breath & I’m really struggling with the different stages of grief. I took time off work to care for my dad who has dementia & I’m having to relive her death with him on a daily basis. I was due to return to work today after only having the funeral on Friday but I didn’t feel up to it & have since been sacked. This is now adding to all my grieving emotions & today I feel completely numb, my speech is slow, I’m teary & I just don’t know how to feel. I had hoped I would start to feel better now as all my other family are back to normal.


Sorry for your loss , i lost my husband January this year.He died at home and i had to watch him dying from pancreatic cancer so i know how you feel Everyone is different with grieving.Try and just take one day at a time ,i try and do that.Look after you now.

Thank You for replying. I’m just feeling so many different emotions at the moment. It was OK keeping busy organising things but no the funeral has been & gone I just feel lost x

So sorry for your loss and how cruel of them to sack you now. :angry::heart: It’s really hard to say when you will start to feel better as everyone reacts so differently. It’s like a rollercoaster and it often feels worse after the funeral because beforehand you have practical things to distract you. If you browse the forum, you’ll see several long threads about losing a parent where you can jump in too, there’s sometimes more activity there and everyone will welcome you. Sending hugs for you this difficult time. :people_hugging:

Thank you :heart:

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Im really sorry for your loss @ch78 . 5 weeks is absolutely no time at all, especially if your mums death was unexpected. Its totally normal to still be grieving and feeling the effects of that grief, regardless of how your other family members appear to be coping. Everyones grief is different so dont try and compare yourself to others. Grief is love that has nowhere to go - so if you loved your mum deeply, the grief is going to be intense. :broken_heart:

Im also sorry to hear youve been sacked. I dont know the circumstances around this but if you feel you have been treated unfairly please consider speaking to the ACAS helpline (UK) who can advise you on your rights.

Do you have any support to help care for your Dad? You cant deal with this all on your own. Do other family members help?

Be kind to yourself - give yourself time to process whats happened. Your GP may be able to provide access to counselling if you think it might help, or Sue Ryder offer online counselling but most counselling has a wait list. There are often local support groups for bereaved people to connect to each other if you look online. If there is a hospice in your area, its worth checking what bereavement services they offer as you dont always have to have been a hospice user to access them.

And of course, keep posting here - there are so many people in a similar situation who understand what its like to lose a loved one - you’re not on your own :heart:

8 months in for me, loss mum August 23 I still get teary. I wished I had the answer to your question, I don’t. Work helps but you can’t be at work every day. It’s the time alone which isn’t easy!