I lost my father a few months ago and have been extremely anxious to visit the grave as it will make it all feel so real and I’m just not sure if I’m ready yet, I eventually want to visit atleast a few times a year on birthday, Father’s Day, Death anniversary when I am free on those days and if not I’ll visit on a day nearby, I know I am probably overthinking it and it won’t be as bad after the first time I was just wondering how much other people visit their loved ones and what it was like and what you do?
I must also add that his grave is next to his dads in his childhood village where he grew up and it is a good 2-3hour drive away and I do not have a car
It will be hard for me to visit on these days until I get a car as I would have to stay round families for a few days and that will be hard because of work but as soon as I get a car I want to drive up there and visit him on these occasions
HI @ozstin123, it can be very difficult to visit the grave of a lost loved one for many people. However, for others it gives them great comfort and solace.
There was a discussion a while ago about this, mostly among people able to visit frequently, which may interest you: How Often Do Most people Visit The Grave
How often you visit is a very personal choice but is of course limited by circumstances. Your situation will be familiar to others who don’t live near that resting place and of course there are many who even live in a different country. We do what we feel we need to. It could mean no more than anniversaries, or as little as once every few years, or for those who might find it too upsetting, not visiting at all.
If you feel visiting is is something you need to do, then when you feel ready, make a date and go. But please don’t think there is a ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ thing to do, nor is there a time limit on visiting. Whatever you choose doesn’t need to be qualified in any way. If you follow your heart, your choice will be right for you.
Take care
Mick
Online Community team
I lost my wonderful husband 8 months ago. I have his ashes on my bedroom unit with his order of service beside them. They sit on top of my memory box and I find such comfort seeing them every day. I also have a tree in the local cemetery with a memorial border and have put a small amount of his ashes there too. I visit at least three times a week. I believe whatever brings comfort and peace is right. I do worry that people may think am not moving on but I need to do what helps me.
Be strong.