My darlign friend died 115 months ago and I had him buried not too far from me and I go about every two weeks. To me its a personal thing and I dont consider every two weeks over the top but not according to some people round here who seem to think Im living my life around a grave. Any thoughts?
I go at least once a week (usually Sunday afternoon) plus any day I’m working from home. So perhaps an average of 1.5 times a week. It’s a short walk from home. Seems disrespectful not too. I usually run though what our 5 (mostly grown up) kids are up to and an update on her parents.
I know someone whose wife died 6 years ago and he visits her grave every day for a couple of hours. It’s your choice what you want to do and has got nothing to do with anyone else take no notice everyone is different in how they deal with things. Take care
Hello Kris, We went to a funeral the other day and it was a burial. Our son asked me what I would have done if his dad had wanted to be buried instead of cremated. I told him I would have followed his dad’s wishes but would have visited his grave every single day. Many years ago, when we made out our wills, we stated we wanted to be cremated. I am so glad we did because my husbands ashes are in our home, they will remain here until I die and then our ashes will be scattered together in a place we had chosen together. His urn is in a small glass cabinet and I talk to him daily, say goodnight to him and good morning to him, as far as I am concerned he is here with me. If he had been buried, I would have visited him every single day as I could not bear the thought that he was out there on his own. My husband’s dad was buried and so were my grandparents over 70 years ago, but every other member of both our families that died after that were cremated, some had their ashes interred in an old family plot and some had them scattered. If you want to visit a loved ones grave on a regular basis it is up to you, no-one should tell you what is too much or too little. Whatever makes you feel at peace do it. Take care. Sheilax
Hi. I lost my son in August. I visit most days as i found it a comfort to.me. i live 5 mins away
I see my husband every day the week I got his urn at home on the fire surround on our electric heater ( with a faked fire) bought April 2015 , his photo in front his urn with a white angel but brown broken wings, a gold and silver heart and red roses of three, my two robbins who my husband bought for me because he loves me.I do dust my husbands urn when it’s a bit dusty.When I got my husband’s ashes home first ‘ I could smell him .I wear my husband around my neck and ring finger ashes into glass,
Hello No. I am just like you. My husband’s urn is in a corner display cabinet, overlooking the room where he always sat. I say hello love and night love every day and have a few words with him. I have a heart with angel wings wrapped around his urn, with a small cut glass case of fresh flowers next to it. I have put photos of his parents, my parents and my sister, all long gone now, along side him so he has his family with him. He is there waiting for me to join him along with two of our German Shepherds ashes. Our son’s know the exact place to scatter all our ashes in Devon as we went there two years ago so I could show them, it was our favourite place as we used to go there every year before the boys were born and went until they were old enough not to want to go with us, the funny thing is, they still visit the same place when they are working down there and go for the long walk we all did back in the 70’s for 15 years. My husband and I started going after we were married in 1967 so it holds a very special place in our hearts. We plod on don’t we and somehow we manage to get through each day. Take care. Sheilax
My wife of 28 years died at 54 1st Sept 2016 . I have a real candle permanently lit on her grave. I have to cover it up every night to keep the cemetery manager happy and then uncover it every morning. Seeing the real living flames gives me comfort. I go up 2 to 3 times a day and have met a few other men that attend every day. One of them lost his wife 8 years ago.
It’s hard when we spent all our time together except for the 8 hours a day when at work.
It’s been 15 months and I’m still dead inside with life having now meaning any more. I’m just wasting time hoping that my time comes sooner rather than later.
I know it’s wrong to think like this .
I hope and wishes go out to you all and hope you manage to cope and remember the good times that you had with the loves of your lives
Sorry about being so depressing