I’m so sad from the loss of my mum and today I had more sad news. My friend’s daughter has taken her own life. This is because her child died unexpectedly. This isn’t the first death of a young person that I’ve experienced . I hurt so much for my friend. There’s so much sadness out there. How much are we expected to carry? When does it become too much?
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I don’t know the answer to your question actually.
How do we get to be more resilient?
How do we put the bits back together again when we feel shattered by it? I guess something pushes us on somehow. As for those that can’t or don’t I am not sure why either.
But think it helps to share it. It is a journey.
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Hello
I’ve often wondered how much can I bear.
I lost my mum and my nan I’ve found it extremely difficult to bear my own grief.
My dad and I have supported each other and somehow we’ve held it together
Like many others I’ve had my good and bad days. I’ll have a day where grief hits me hard
Grief is horrible
I feel like there can’t be an unlimited amount of grief we can take. I’m struggling, but I’m coping, but just one more thing might be too much.
Hi
Yeah I know how you feel.
I’m living with the thought that a day will come when I’ll lose my dad and that will be to much to bear. I’ll have lost both parents then.
This time I’m ready. I will most certainly end my life because I have been holding on after losing my mum and I carried on living to look after my dad but if I have to live my life without my mum and dad then it’s not worth living
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But there has to be more doesn’t there? There has to be a reason to keep going. Any connection however small. There has to be purpose.
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That’s where I’m at now, having lost both of them. It feels like standing at a crossroads, undecided, and I’ve said to myself so many times that I barely survived before, how am I supposed to bear going through it all over again? I don’t see an end point either, so the question becomes, can we learn to live with it? I’m still not sure. I get up in the mornings for my cat’s sake and maybe at some point another purpose will reveal itself, but I don’t know.
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Yes days like that then it does pass and on other days have got used to it.
Yesterday my family all came and it feels in the thick of it again. I think at least I am holding them together in a way.
I am having the kids over night on Saturday because all other side on in laws going to a wedding some place so the old place is full upstairs again. Got to wash sheets on a bed to get ready. Three young grandsons upstairs in bed and feels like years ago when my son’s were their age. Deja vu.
Then in flick of an eye back to present.
Quiet. Today think loads are on holiday.
I should have got organised.
Will I go to the castle two miles away? Saunter around and watch everyone else with their families?
That has been gut reaching.
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I’m so sorry. That feeling of being on the outside when everyone else is in their couples or family groups. But you have family too. Do they know how you feel?
It’s good you have your family, but it’s hard being lonely even though there are people around you. It makes you feel so isolated. 
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