Yes indeed, how on earth do we cope after we have lost our forever partner, how do we change our course, the one we have gotten used to for ex amount of years, our day to day, our week to week, month to month, year to year pattern…the one we have gotten used to, now a whole new change is due, no not through choice but through unforeseen circumstance…A change we are facing ahead of us, and not through choice…How have we come to this, how did we reach this stage…our comfortable and habitual ending has come to its end…Some of us, if not all of us are creatures of habit, I know my Richard definitely was as once he joined something he was 100% reliable and would never let anyone down, he would always turn up…he was not a join, start and then give it up person…I am angry with myself that we moved so far away and i had taken Richard away from his once a week golf with his two-three longstanding golfing buddies, i took him away from his once an evenings indoor bowls team of which he was a regular team playing member for years, never ever turning them down, he was always there even standing in on his nights playing if someone else couldn’t make it who’s should have been playing that evening, 100% reliable and punctual was my Richard and loyal to the end…Yes my Richard was a creature of habit, i would give anything to have him back, back home in the house we gave up, I stupidly gave up to move here 140 plus miles away, took him away from his life of golf with his two-three lifelong golfing buddies, took him away from his one night a week indoor bowls team which he was a reliable member for years…My MS not only helped taking him away from his life but ruined my life too, ie: my dog walking…Yes how do we cope with our loss of our long term partner, our life as we know it-knew it has ended also…we are now coping with the loss of our forever partner, we are now coping with a total life change, we are now coping with what we once had, our partner, our life, our good and happy memories…It is true, we may still be here ad continuing to live each day as one day it too will be our turn, but starting a different life, a life many of us will be taking this journey by ourselves with no immediate family, no close family, family problems-friction, or just have no family left…not everyone has even had brothers and sisters…nor perhaps even children of their own…not all couples plan to have, nor want children…
Then of course crops up the question of no family so who is going to take care of our funeral-cremation and take care of the solicitor business when it is our turn, again not all have next of kin, and for those who do, the next of kin might not be capable, ie: have alcohol issues…so how do we plan our own ending, our send off, our solicitor business…for me it was going to be my Richard to scatter my ashes where i had told him i would like them to be along with the ashes of our-my three dogs, as he was always the healthy one, well neither of us saw his sudden death coming near…i had made him promise me that he would take care of me, and he would have done so…I am now left with the dilemma of who is going to scatter the dogs ashes with me now…and where will they be scattered as i have to make it aware of one or two special to us dog walking spots, i am also now wanting some of my ashes to be near to where my Richards ashes are scattered, of course it is a crematorium that wont allow dogs ashes, so something else i need to sort out and add to my will…Well this is it, a future i never saw coming, well my reality and factual future is now here…another change in my life pattern at the age of coming up to 69…yes Richard and i should be living our continuous life for at least another ten years but my MS came along out of the blue and stopped us in our tracks, and now God has decided on taking my Richard…
Jackie…
