So sorry you’ve had to join this ‘family’ of ours but you will find it’s very helpful as we all understand each other
I remember being at 8 weeks and I was scrambling round in the fog feeling totally helpless and hopeless and lost.
The crying just would not stop and I felt ill to be honest.
I hit the one year mark on Friday 6th March and I do cope much better and I can laugh as well as cry but it’s always there and I now know it always will be.
I hope your family and friends will be there for you as we need people even if it’s just to push them away sometimes.
True friends understand and come back again n again. At least we all have each other on here.
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Michelle0
I have the same problems sleeping.i have never slept the same since my dear wife passed just over 12 months ago.Restless every night.crying every night doesnt help me, i find nightime so hard.So much going around in my head too.so many worries and responsibilities now too.I wake up worn out then have to face work, then the same the next day.it really is groundhog day.I hope you have been able to get through today ok?
Take care.
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Hi @brummy
I feel exhausted all the time, it really doesn’t help as I think it makes me more emotional.
Ive got a week off work and have forced myself to go to the seaside for a couple of days with the dog. I was hoping the sea air might knock me out but here i am wide awake!
I think it will just be another part of this awful journey!
I hope you had an ok day too.
Xx
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Good morning all.
Seeing a nurse about a cough I’ve had for around 6 weeks this morning. Then a bit of shopping and not sure afterwards.
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I have the same problems to sleeping I do take anti depression tablets that ment to help me sleeping do sleep with them but I am lucky if I get a few hours sleep but I am never in a deep sleep abd every time I turn in bed I wake up I never in a deep sleep I am so exhausted all the time and when it’s time to get up for work I struggle every morning I really really hate the mornings as that was when my wife and I would be getting ready and organised together for work I would make her tea and bring it up to her in the mornings I hate this loneliness and emptiness I am just so sad all the time exhausted to with crying I am really struggling without her I am so frightened and anxious all the time I was in a primark yesterday doing a job and that was the very last shop that my wife and I was in the week before she passed away I was crying inside and I tried to hold it back I stood at the tills where I had to sing in I looked and just tought of us there it really really got me I struggle going to the shops as it was just my wife and I that done everything together I have food in my freezer and cupboards but I haven’t touched anything I just cant I know I sound daft but it was ment for both of us I still cry everyday and I just wish I could just be with my wife this pain is killing me I miss her so so much I just cant accept that she is gone I know she is and I am really really struggling with it I feel like it’s the beginning again I think it is to do with the change of season it was this time last year we where getting things organised for our new back garden fencing getting built and we where working together like we allways did asking each other questions and reasure each other I hate coming home to the empty house it is just so sad just like me I have all my wife things still around I will not touch anything it is like she is just stepped out I have so meny memories all good but I just cry at them I stood in the back garden the other night and I felt so so sad I just cant believe this is now just me so alone and sad now we had so meny more memories and dreams still to do together I just cant believe that this is now my life I have nobody no family or friends I just work and come home I go out to work with my mask on but nobody actually knows how I feel my mind is never quite I just really really miss my beautiful wife so so much I hate this rollercoaster of a life we are all in we never asked for this but somehow we are I just don’t know how I am going to get through what ever time I may have left I just don’t want to live the next 10 15 or even 20years I honestly dont know if I could get through this all what I had is gone I thought I had my everything and now my wife is in heaven I just want to be with her so much I am so sorry if I have went on but I am really really struggling take care every one
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Love01, dont ever be sorry for going on, thats what this community is about, speak how you are feeling, its probably does help, its a horrible journey, like you say one we just dont want to be on, i lost my husband 7 months ago, very suddenly and unexpected 
, we had so many plans and now im so alone, scared of the loneliness, the empty house, the quietness which was once filled with so much love and laughter , i try to keep busy but its hard, my husbands things are still there ehere he left them, I just want him to come back and we start again where we left off , please take care, we all know what this awful journey is , sending hugs 
to you 
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Morning everyone,
the sun actually came out yesterday afternoon.
Hoping it happens again today.
Wishing you the best day possible.
Take care
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Never be sorry about writing your feelings down hope it helps you
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Never be sorry about put your feelings on here it’s what it is for . It’s better than bottling them up . Hope you get through the day the best you can
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Hope you get your cough sorted out at the doctors
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Morning Everyone
Hope you get through your day the best you can . I am going swimming this morning it always helps me . I got my 4 th cruse bereavement counselling this afternoon
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Good Morning.
Pleased you’re seeing someone regarding your cough especially if you’ve had it for 6 weeks.
Probably nothing but it’s worth putting your mind at rest.
Don’t forget to let us know how you’ve got on
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@Love01
Good Morning.
I can see you are really struggling and I think you probably need help with your grief.
I know we all go through the horrors of our grief but sometimes there are good moments and I’m not sure you are having any at all.
Your wife will be terribly upset to have left you feeling like you do and she would want you to maybe reach out for some help, someone to talk to who understands.
Have you tried your local church, you don’t have to be religious or go to church, it’s there to help people, that’s partly what it’s about and it might be worthwhile reaching out.
Do you have family.? If so they might not realise just what you are going through, likewise friends. They don’t always know how you are feeling so maybe tell them.
If you seek help you may find it and feel just a bit more positive. We all deserve to be happy sometimes, even when bereaved because we can’t spend the rest of our lives in tears and sorrow…
I do hope you can find a way through..
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Please don’t apologise, most of us, if not all on here understand how you are feeling. Its a truly awful experience!
Your wife would want you to be happy and try to live a life without her.
I would recommend trying grief counselling, it went through talking therapies and it does help. It won’t take the pain away, nothing will, but it helps you to live alongside it.
As part of my new life, I have forced myself to go to the seaside for a couple of days with the dog. Im trying, its not easy. We have to find a way through this.
Please look after yourself xx
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Unfortunately I don’t have any close family and very few friends, so I don’t have anyone to call on really. I’m really not coping very well to be honest.
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Back from the nursie. All my vital signs are fine, but before they prescribe any antibiotics she wants me to have a chest x-ray in our local hospital tomorrow.
She said the virus at the beginning of the year was a bad one and the cough may be an infection deep in my chest.
So I’ll just turn up tomorrow and then wait for the results to be sent back to gp
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I am sure your chest Xray will be fine ,it’s always best air on the side of caution .
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I really admire you finding the courage to go to the seaside with your dog. I hope you have found plenty of dog friendly places to go . I am sure lots of people have been talking to you . I am sure the sea air will do you good. I hope next year I can find the courage to do the same.
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Sending Take care
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