Got up early as will I reach another milestone since my wife Jackie passed on 8th March 2025.
My first Gas boiler service. They’re expected anytime between 8 and 1.
I’ve already messed it up as I forgot to clear the worktops, so the man or woman who comes can lay out their bits and pieces. . Jackie would have cleared it last night. Anyway it’s done now and I’m sat in the chair waiting for them to arrive. Knowing my luck, I expect they’ll be mid morning.
@Johnr
Morning. As usual when I wake up the tears start flowing and even though I tell myself to stop I can’t.
I’ve now tried to bargain with myself that after 9am I will not cry because it annoys me and it’s exhausting.
Washing in but looking a tad grey outside for hanging out but I’ll dodge showers.
After breakfast I’ll do some more weeding…and then take granddaughter swimming this afternoon…
It’s tiring thinking of things to do and I don’t know why we do it. Are we trying to fill a void we can’t possible fill. Will that stop.?
Made me laugh when you said another milestone re the boiler service…
Hi @Johnr … We had our first Gas Boiler Service since Jill passed in January. That in itself felt weird, yet it is ONLY a Gas Boiler Service!! But as it is for most, everything without our loves is weird now. Anyway, I was doing good, the guy got on and did … then I realised I was still talking to Jill like I do when in the house or think I am alone! He must have thought is was a nutter! Looking back, it is mildly amusing in some respect, and Jill would have chuckled!
@Jim68
It’s ridiculous trying to find things to do isn’t it.?
I don’t know why I do it because John n I had our own houses so didn’t live together so it’s not as though I haven’t lived alone. I have for years.
I can absolutely understand a couple who shared years and the same house wandering n wondering what to do. I saw that with my mum when dad passed after knowing each other 68 years n married for 62…
I had a few tears just now when I had to get the number of Jackie’s death certificate so I could put her name on the bereavement register to stop junk mail.
Gas man is now here going through the service. All passed except the carbon monoxide monitor which was 2 years out of date. I had bought a new one just in case.
Good luck with your weeding. My garden is still available if you need to practice
Only a boiler service, but Jackie always did them. I now have to find where to store the paperwork.
I even made the engineer a cup of tea. I was a bit tearful when he was asking about why I had changed the insurance, which was in Jackie’s name. I explained she had passed. He was of course apologetic, but at least he was an older man. The younguns wouldn’t have known what to say.
That’s so true about sharing a house or living alone. Couples in the same house often share tasks or one person does the lot. Either way, it’s difficult for remaining partners to take over everything straight away.
Seems to be roughly a similar time each day. Don’t know whether loneliness kicks in around 1 pm, but I thought chatting to gas engineer would be a tonic today.
Plans for the day ? Well I’ve wandered from room to room , not really knowing what to do with myself this morning . Have managed a little bit of sadmin and seen to the cats . It’s really hard to fill the void isn’t it ?
I have an appointment with a counsellor this afternoon at the where hospice my husband passed away on the 21 st march .
Since he passed the boiler packed in and the TV was playing up , now the guttering at the back is leaking ! Give me strength ! I’ve hit a weepy time too , so the counsellor better have plenty of tissues handy .
@JanetteR1 so sorry to hear of your hubby passing Janette it must be catching my boiler packed in and our guttering has started to leak too after sally next door had hers redone and to round it off i had my counceling this afternoon too def something in the water ive only just hat tv repaired / replaced just after my Linda passed in oct last year so i hope its not going too like yours otherwise that would be scary it is hard getting motivated to do things now she isn’t hear anymore just don’t want yo do much esp my back garden and pond we loved doing do much together as a team if like our cat they never wait do they big hug take care
Martin
@Johnr@Jim68 rain stopped here in plymouth too guys sun is well and truly out hardly a cloud in sight i agree on the purpose in life too cant seem to see any i keep trying to get motivated to do stuff got so much in between caring for my Lindas mum now i been trying to sort out a lock up we had for overspill after we moved here in 2017 as condensing down from me and lindas flat and mums flat and my dads 3 bed bungalow he had since i was 5 (and good grief had he collected some stuff ) condense it down hence a lock up we rent of council but its costing twice it was when we took it out to help with the move down here so need to get it handed back really but that feel like climbing everest me and my Linda was going to do it but just me now i just cant get started let alone the gardens to make less look like the amazon now i really do feel how you do too take it easy guys and take care too
Martin
. Jackie would have cleared it last night. Anyway it’s done now and I’m sat in the chair waiting for them to arrive. Knowing my luck, I expect they’ll be mid morning.
