The original post in this thread has been removed at the author’s request. This thread remains open as a space for both new and existing members to share how you’re doing and to support each other. Thank you for continuing to look out for each other 
Hi John, I am staying with my daughter for a couple if days. At least I don’t have a boiler to worry about. Good luck with yours.
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That’s good John.
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@Johnr
Morning. As usual when I wake up the tears start flowing and even though I tell myself to stop I can’t.
I’ve now tried to bargain with myself that after 9am I will not cry because it annoys me and it’s exhausting.
Washing in but looking a tad grey outside for hanging out but I’ll dodge showers.
After breakfast I’ll do some more weeding…and then take granddaughter swimming this afternoon…
It’s tiring thinking of things to do and I don’t know why we do it. Are we trying to fill a void we can’t possible fill. Will that stop.?
Made me laugh when you said another milestone re the boiler service…
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Hi @Johnr … We had our first Gas Boiler Service since Jill passed in January. That in itself felt weird, yet it is ONLY a Gas Boiler Service!! But as it is for most, everything without our loves is weird now. Anyway, I was doing good, the guy got on and did … then I realised I was still talking to Jill like I do when in the house or think I am alone! He must have thought is was a nutter! Looking back, it is mildly amusing in some respect, and Jill would have chuckled! 
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Tiring thinking of things to do. Wow I know that feeling @Mitzi1. I wonder too if that will ever stop.
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@Jim68
It’s ridiculous trying to find things to do isn’t it.?
I don’t know why I do it because John n I had our own houses so didn’t live together so it’s not as though I haven’t lived alone. I have for years.
I can absolutely understand a couple who shared years and the same house wandering n wondering what to do. I saw that with my mum when dad passed after knowing each other 68 years n married for 62…
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68 years is a lifetime. I only managed 42 but they were 42 great years.
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Hi all,
Plans for the day ? Well I’ve wandered from room to room , not really knowing what to do with myself this morning . Have managed a little bit of sadmin and seen to the cats . It’s really hard to fill the void isn’t it ?
I have an appointment with a counsellor this afternoon at the where hospice my husband passed away on the 21 st march .
Since he passed the boiler packed in and the TV was playing up , now the guttering at the back is leaking ! Give me strength ! I’ve hit a weepy time too , so the counsellor better have plenty of tissues handy .
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The rain doesn’t help much John. This really isn’t much fun is it? I spend most of my time just trying to find some sense of purpose.
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I guess that is pretty much the same for all of us John.
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@JanetteR1 so sorry to hear of your hubby passing Janette it must be catching my boiler packed in and our guttering has started to leak too after sally next door had hers redone and to round it off i had my counceling this afternoon too def something in the water ive only just hat tv repaired / replaced just after my Linda passed in oct last year so i hope its not going too like yours otherwise that would be scary it is hard getting motivated to do things now she isn’t hear anymore just don’t want yo do much esp my back garden and pond we loved doing do much together as a team if like our cat they never wait do they big hug take care
Martin 
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@Johnr @Jim68 rain stopped here in plymouth too guys sun is well and truly out hardly a cloud in sight i agree on the purpose in life too cant seem to see any i keep trying to get motivated to do stuff got so much in between caring for my Lindas mum now i been trying to sort out a lock up we had for overspill after we moved here in 2017 as condensing down from me and lindas flat and mums flat and my dads 3 bed bungalow he had since i was 5 (and good grief had he collected some stuff ) condense it down hence a lock up we rent of council but its costing twice it was when we took it out to help with the move down here so need to get it handed back really but that feel like climbing everest me and my Linda was going to do it but just me now i just cant get started let alone the gardens to make less look like the amazon now i really do feel how you do too take it easy guys and take care too
Martin
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Hey John i get it its dam hard just one step at a time don’t try do to much at once thats what i was doing it just don’t work we goto fight for our lovely ladies there all about us its really shit being alone try find a focus for the day and try do that task no matter how mundane it might feel its a step even just getting up and breathe think what would your lovely lady would say to you now make her proud john one day at a time one step at a time i know that picture it sums up how we feel now its gona take time mate im 7 months now so i know how it feels ride the waves dont fight them glad your reaching out you can message me anytime or any of us on here thats what were here for.
That was nice of your neighbough so kind and rock cakes god ive not had them in years since my dad used to make them back when i was about 10 he was a chef and baker back in his army days and birthday cake well im jealous love cake you can never have enough cake take it easy and take care bud
Martin
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Hi John ( was my husband’s name too). I also had my first gas boiler service today since my husband unexpectedly collapsed and passed on the street in front of me in January. He was 65. The service was overdue but eventually got round to it. The plumber was recommended to me by my mum and was lovely. I do have bad days , am lucky have good family and friends. John’s Grant of Probate came through today and spent this afternoon sorting stuff with it, although almost done with all of that, as went mad in the beginning with it all, in shock I guess. Am lucky enough to live near the beach in Norfolk so take my Labrador for long walks by the sea. I sometimes go paddle boarding on the Broads but am not too good at that!.Am trying to be as upbeat as possible as could have another 30 years left. Am so sad that he is missing our life together, and also so sorry for my sons.Sending a hug to you xx
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I think it’s great that you think that Jackie’s rock cakes were better. You are a funny guy John. Don’t stop being that!
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Hi John, i wish i could say the right words for you. I to feel lonely, i think we all do. This new life is totally crap. Yet every day we get up, hopefully eat and continue. Like people say just one step and do what you can. It was nice of your neighbour with the cake. These waves knock us back. Good memories can turn bad. We are in this together and with each others support we can do this.
Some days i think i will stay in bed what’s the point, but something or someone gets me up. I might not do anything but at least i have had a wash brushed my teeth,and will get something to eat and drink. I know tears will flow at some point. Tonight will be the same go to bed tired, talk to Sue and cry. Not get a lot of sleep and do it again tomorrow. Just hoping i am one day closer to being with Sue again. So please look after yourself.
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Swanton Morley is around 40 minutes drive from me, the other side of Norwich. Small world! Another thing we have got done today with the boiler.I have got the cars MOT, taken it for a service, sorted out the insurance, sold his car. Oh yes and bought a tortoise 
. We always wanted one so I researched it, built her a lovely run in the garden… Yes, it was very abrupt and shocking when my husband passed. Whichever way it happens is hard, my dad died of leukemia at 67, his suffering was immense. I hope they are looking down on us. I believe they are xxxx
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Morning John. Walking is good because you are out and getting exercise and seeing people, but you know all that. It’s funny how those little e mails turn into events. When I do my meters, I usually get replies saying, are you sure.? That seems a little high 
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My son has called the tortoise Michelle. I take my lovely Labrador for very long walks and cuddle my old cat. They are both from rescue homes and are good company. I think I get things done as my husband worked on oil rigs for many years so have had to be. We had taken early retirement,him at 63, me at 58, as we had many holidays abroad and wanted to continue this. I try not to dwell on it but it is hard. I hope today is ok for you. Xx
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