Nobody is rubbish at words. We just all have different ones.
Just noticed you’re from Cardiff, I’m from Newport.
I’ve been away from Wales since 1971 and currently living in Northants. Our house is up for sale and I intend moving back home, hopefully to Rogerstone as soon as I can.
Yes the meeting was very beneficial especially as I found out about it by accident and an old friend is one of the organisers.
Anyway, you take care
Yes it did Mitzi. I was surprised at how much.
We all need help on this sad journey.
Look after yourself 
Good morning all. Weather looks good so put some washing on.
I have to do a bit of shopping this morning and also check if the article on Jackie is in the Daily Mail. Assuming it is, I have to buy a few copies to leave two of my grandchildren to read when they’re older.
Anyway, have a good one if you can and take care. 
You too John
So 6 months today. So i will be walking up to the church to light a candle 
.
The positive i have made it this far. Those early days i did not think so.
Definitely a hard day a head, not much sleep again.
Take care
You take care.
Every step we take may be huge, but it helps us through the painful journeys we are all on.
Morning,
I used to go shopping to Newport quite often when I was younger. Sadly, though a lot of of the main shops have closed down now due to the out of town retail parks.
I should imagine you’ll find it’s changed a lot since 1971😊
We do have some lovely places here in Wale. the only downside is that we have quite a lot of rain due to the mountains all around us.
Good luck with the move, 
it will happen soon.
I’m going to make a coffee now, really struggling with my anxiety, woke up 4am this morning in a right panic.
I can’t get over how long it takes me to type a little message these days. 
Take care x
Good luck for move,
I went back to Newport, for the first time, in 2013 when my band reformed. When I drove through the centre to a place we were rehearsing at, I thought it looked like a bomb site. 
Whoever runs the council has ruined the place. It used to be so nice, but never mind, that’s ‘progress’.
I hope your anxiety lessens a bit. Incidentally my wife Jackie passed in March as well. It’ll be 20 weeks tomorrow and miss her a lot.
You look after yourself
Thinking of you.
6 months was an emotional day for me with as you say the positive that you have made it to 6 months but wondering how you managed it.
Take care x
That’s a weird coincidence with the names!
Glad you had a good night.
Oh yes, local authorities throughtout Wales are rubbish!! I can imagine the shock when you returned in 2013😄
John can I just say that the first messsge I read from you really stood out for me because if im right in thinking you lost your beloved Jackie on the 8th March and I lost Ian on the 15th. It will be 19 weeks for me tomorrow, Ian past at 5.05am, I will never ever forget that day. I hate the weekends but Saturday is my worse day. I can never sleep past 5.05 on a Saturday morning.
I didn’t think I survive 19 weeks but something must be keeping us all going. I have got 2 adult sons so I must do it for them. It doesn’t get easier though.
I do feel this site is helping me knowing im not on my own.
You look after yourself as well and my best wishes to everyone else on this horrible journey❤️
It was. I don’t know who was more shocked and tearful, her or me. Nice lady though
Yes Jackie passed in my arms at home at 9.38 on the 8th March, so 20 weeks for me tomorrow. I can’t stay in the house at that time, so usually walk down to the shop for a paper. Saturdays are awful for me as well.
I also can’t sit in our living room and watch TV as that’s where Jackie passed. She had been sleeping downstairs for a few years on a sofa bed and then on the Friday before she passed, the palliative care people brought a hospital bed in for her, as they were struggling to look after her with the sofa bed. The hospital bed was exactly where the TV is now. 
She hated the hospital bed and I feel really guilty at persuading her to have the hospital bed, even though it was only for one very restless night 
Still, she’s at peace now.
Hi Nightwish1
6 months is a milestone and I will be thinking of you.
I know it won’t be easy but as you say, you have made it to this point.
I hope that going to church and lighting a candle in your beloved Sue’s memory will bring you some comfort.
I also hope you are at a point where you can recall the happy memories of your time together, and not be upset by them.
I say that, because where I’m at, when I think of our many happy memories, it’s so painful for me that they are now assigned to history and no more can be made. I end up pushing them away because I find it so painful and heartbreaking.
I know I’m still in shock and in denial. How could this possibly be true?
We’ve all been forced on this journey, we don’t want to be on, without our precious loved ones with us.
Daily life is a struggle and tormenting, but what can we do? Somehow, one way or another, we get through each day, however difficult or agonising.
I also had a very restless night and then waking up with that horrible feeling of nausea, emptiness, and dread to face another day without my soulmate here with me.
It will be 6 weeks on Monday for me, so you will know the utter despair that I am in right now.
I’m sorry, I’m going off tangent now. I’m just constantly overwhelmed with emotions, especially the loneliness and missing my soulmate so desperately. Please keep posting.
Sending you comfort and strength today and please know that you are being thought of.
Take care.
Eve x
Hi Edwars04,
Sadly, I can totally relate to your feelings of anxiety and panic.
It’s something that is affecting me quite badly and just seems to completely overwhelm me at times.
The mornings when I wake up are just so horrible and distressing.
Waking up without my darling soulmate next to me, and then going downstairs to an empty and quiet house knowing that I am facing a very long and lonely day without my darling Michael.
My life has changed dramatically since losing the live of my life.
I really don’t recognise myself anymore or the ‘life’ I now have.
I just long for him, and that’s when the panic and anxiety sets in.
I know that I’m still in so much shock and denial, because I just can’t accept that something so traumatic and life changing can actually be true.
I am really hoping that with time these feelings of panic and anxiety will subside somewhat.
You mentioned your two adult sons, do you mind me asking if they live with you? A completely empty house is very difficult.
Eve x
Hope your day goes ok.
6 months of surviving this nightmare is an achievement - I have nearly manage 4 and it’s been touch and go at times.
Best wishes,
A wonderful tribute - and sounds like a full and rich life.
She did Jayne until sadly the last few years.
That is so lovely John
