Its a good idea to meet up. I have colleagues who are recently bereaved and we talk about how we are doing. It does help as we act as support to one another. This forum is also really helpful. I don’t feel alone in what I’m going through and it makes me feel “normal” in a way.
It also gives me hope. Our loved ones who have passed would not want us to be so stricken that we don’t live our lives. There are a few people on here who are moving forward with the memories of their beloveds in their hearts and at some stage, that’s what we all must do. I can’t just yet, but that’s what my goal is.
So sorry for your loss, its very early days and you will be all over the place. Its coming up to 20mths since i lost my husband of over 30yrs, i wish i could tell you it gets easier. Try not to think too far ahead, one day at a time. I found writing my feelings down in a journal helped, telling him how my day was, how much i miss him etc, i still write to him. I try to give myself something daily to focus on even if its just housework, i’m lucky my 2 daughters are still at home and i have a puppy daughter that keeps me busy and gives me comfort. I read alot of books on grief, i would recommend ‘ its ok not to be ok’ by Megan Devine. These groups help too, your not alone. X
I’m the same but my soulmate was my nan. She was with me everyday and we spoke multiple times a day on the phone when she was at best heath. I miss her smile her chats and her love. She always gave me the best support in life.
I’ve found ways that help are knowing she wouldn’t want me to upset. And that she would want me to be happy and live on and that things can’t be helped. I made her that promise.
There is this void and space which is left and can’t be filled as she was so wonderful. But I’ve found keeping busy is the best thing to take my mind off things. I’ve done lots of walks.I’m going to join a walking group and am looking into socialising groups near.
I don’t know if there is any bereavement groups near you or social groups?. as you find a lot of lonely people who are looking for company.
That is so sad to be also struggling with health issues yourself too. I have not tried any grief counselling as yet as its still early days and my attention span is like a goldfish at the moment . It would have been good for you if there were people there with more recent loss. I live in the West midlands so there must be things out there when I’m ready to try. Keep thinking what your husband would want you to do and try to honour his memory in that way. I wish you peace and acceptance .
Hi Belinda where about are you? I’m in the wests mids too. Shall I private message you? I’m afraid I don’t drive but if your close by we could meet for coffee.
Hi so sorry for your loss.My circumstances are similar.Married for 41 yrs.Went to bed and my husband never woke up.He had a heart attack next to me and I couldn’t save him.59 yrs old.Such a shock.1yr 6months later and it’s still really really hard.I am hoping year two will get better.I am surprised as to just how many people are in this awful position.There is help out there it’s working out which help you need.
Similar circumstances to you ,my healthy,happy Husband went to sleep and never woke up,five weeks ago. The shock is unbelievable,even though we had the funeral yesterday,I am still in denial,I cannot believe he has gone.
It is so difficult to comprehend how someone without any health issues can just be here one minute and gone the next. I lost my partner April 25 suddenly and I don’t think I will ever get over he went so quickly. I just didn’t realise how many people this happens to until I joined this forum …….. heartbreaking Thoughts with everyone on this very sad “journey”
My mum and nan went quickly but my dad and husband suffered. It is horrible when loved ones suffer. Just heard a man died in his sleep at 91 and he had been asleep for quite a long part of his life for a while and his wife became his carer. No doubt she is exhausted. This has been lots People’s experience. Had my husband not died that would have been me. But I struggle to care for myself. Me and my brother years ago had to care for our parents and I had to care for my brother years ago as a child. Seen a lot of it. My uncle cared for my nan. No one cared for my grandad. I have to care for my son at 47 and I am unable to do things so he has to try to help a bit. I help care for grandchildren but and so it goes on.
Can’t care for myself either at the moment. No one is with me but my pet and I have fallen exhausted and I was also ill which persists. I did manage this year and I suppose I will manage again. I’ve been keeping photos and videos I made over this process and I can see I am better. I started because people said I didn’t love my husband, of all things, and you don’t fall apart over someone you don’t love. 30 years together and we did our best. I’m trying not to worry there are no crises here any more other my mental health and overall depletion. I have to go lock the gate and it feels like a Voyage. Accepting my life isn’t going smoothly either right now. I didn’t anticipate this. I wish we had better language and process for these unfortunately common situations. This is why I admire Sue Ryder she did the uncommon for the common. Going to glue more stars on the ceiling now and hope everyone is ok.
Thoughts with everyone on this very sad “journey”