How to carry on

My husband and I had been together for just over 40 years, he became ill and 6 months and 1 week later he died early December 2018, he was my rock, soulmate, best friend everything, finishing work I couldn’t wait to get home and to be with him. The pain in my heart, is tremendous. The total loss and feeling of isolation is devastating, everyone was saying how wonderful I was at caring for him at home, letting him have his dying wishes. However, I feel as though I have let him down. it will be 4 months this weekend and it hurts that little bit more each day. I have tried to keep busy, I have even gone back to work. This makes people think I am doing well, Im not I feel so , so lonely.

Hello Fiona I know how hard this is I was with my husband for nearly 50years and he passed 3 weeks this Friday and then comes the funeral the pain is so bad and I can’t stop crying we done everything together I don’t know if I can carry on so I really know the pain you are going through my thoughts are with you

I know exactly how you feel after caring for your husband at home. I did exactly the same. I wouldn’t let anyone help as he didn’t wish this. I was told I would never cope 24/7 but you do don’t you. I prayed for the strength physically and mentally. Yet I still feel as if somehow I let him down. Did I do enough, was my care good enough. Last week his doctor told me that he was where he wanted to be with the woman that he loved but this was still no help to me. I should have been able to do more and his last day was so distressing. We was alone when he died. I was telling him how much I loved him and hope to goodness he heard me. From my experience even being with people doesn’t take away the loneliness and fear. I am almost better on my own then I can let the grief out as and when I want to. I too feel as if I’m getting nowhere. Weeks pass but it seems like yesterday and no relief from the pain. So you see we all know exactly how you feel you are not alone. Sorry I can’t say something more positive to help you. Take care Pat

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