How to cope after death of parents

I lost my mam on the 9th of Feb and today is my dads b’day who died nearly 9years ago I’m not doing so well today as finding it really difficult, I initially thought after mams death I was doing ok but now things have settled down I am feeling much worse, could just sleep all the time I’m feeling very numb & carnt be bothered to do anything I’m also comfort eating but having just lost a stone that really is the last thing I want to be doing? Thinking of going to see the dr next week but don’t know if they’ll be able to help

Hi Nina,
first of all I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I wish there is something I can do that would take the pain away from you; especially on these milestone days that are special such as your father’s birthday.
I think it might be a good idea for you to see your GP to let them know about your oversleeping and eating as well. they are both by products of grief and I think all of us on this site have gone through variations of these symptoms…for me I have been living off crisps for the last few weeks, the saltier the better…this is definitely not doing my health any good I can hear my arteries hardening as I write. As for sleeping this is something everyone of us can sympathise with. For me it is insomnia, finding it hard to sleep until the early hours (around 3 AMish is normal for me) then feel lethargic and bone weary throughout the day. My motivation to do things constructive has been reduced by such ebbs and flows of my circadian rhythms. So a visit to your gp may be a beneficial thing to do…problem is they often turn to medication as a cure all. this is probably going to help in the short term, such as an antidepressant to help with the despair and numbness of everyday life. Likewise a small sedative to help you start a pattern of sleep that will be healthy to you in the long term.
It is still very, very, early days for you yet and no doubt you are very raw with grief.
My Mother passed away last November and it is still hard going for me. Her birthday was on Christmas day so that was something to get through with gritted teeth and enough tears to flood out a large town.
Everyone is different when it comes to grief. The old cliché of “a day at a time” seems to work. but you are still too close to the trauma of loosing your mum. Let the tears flow! and move in your own pace.
Do you have anyone you can talk t about this?
Dave

me again…sorry I meant your overtiredness rather than over sleeping.
Being exhausted is just one of those hellish things that I have to cope with to such a point it addles my brain…that’s why I make so many mistakes and lack the motivation to do things.
With time you will get your second wind back. I have put in for voluntary work with RNIB working with people living with sight loss an also with the national trust to get me out of these 4 walls which is driving me around the bend.
Don’t force change. still too early for you. See your GP ask their advice.
Take good care
Dave

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