Today at work, first time since returning in January and 6 months after Mum died I broke down in tears. I usually function fine at work. So this took me by complete surprise. I was overcome with emotion. My uncle died and then within 3 months Mum. I wasn’t feeling physically 100 percent today and it was a bit of a pressured day. I think that the trigger was that my brother-in-law is very ill with cancer. It just hit me that I have been surrounded by death and my world as I know it is shrinking. I was anticipating a call at night and it reminded me of being on edge when Mum was in hospital and dreading a call at night, which then came unexpectedly. I was reminded of such happy times all together and was suddenly hit with the reminder of lose, lose of Mum and happy times. I guess I am just writing as an outlet to express how I felt today. I am quite shocked with how his illness has hit me and reminded me of the lose of my Mum. I am wondering if anyone else has experienced this?
You’re not alone. I still have days like that work and my mom passed in october 2024. She is all around you, still there. You just only realise it when something makes your brain remember after forgetting for a second or two. Mine is being at work and doing a certain thing and my mom called me to say the doctor had been to her to confirm her cancer had spread & it was terminal. Whenever i do this at work now, i automatically think of that moment and have to take myself off for 5 minutes. It doesnt get easier with time, you just adjust to your new life you have to live now. Sending love. X
You’re not alone. I still have days like that work and my mom passed in october 2024. She is all around you, still there. You just only realise it when something makes your brain remember after forgetting for a second or two. Mine is being at work and doing a certain thing and my mom called me to say the doctor had been to her to confirm her cancer had spread & it was terminal. Whenever i do this at work now, i automatically think of that moment and have to take myself off for 5 minutes. It doesnt get easier with time, you just adjust to your new life you have to live now. Sending love. X
Thank you … yes that is true. My brain suddenly realised. I just wasn’t expecting it. Mum died in October 2025 and I returned to work in January. It just took me by surprise that it happened today.
Grief is a hard emotion to conquer. And most days, you never win. It doesn’t go away, just lets you breath for a bit instead of struggling. I had one of those days last week. Driving to work and i said to myself, i still can’t believe she’s not here. How am i here and my moms not. It was like it happened all over again and was raw. That completely messed up my day from 7am. But every day is a blessing and i know my mom & your mom would.want you to get up, carry on & try to be happy. That’s all moms want for their kids.
You are so right. It is when I allow myself to think that I realise the enormity of losing my Mum. I am sorry that you are going through this. Yes - my Mum said that when my nan died she just had to get on with it as she had to bring me up. Mums want us to cope in life. Your words have reminded me and helped me to refocus … thank you
You’re welcome. Try to remember the good memories and all the smiles & silly comments and live day to day with those in your head. The more you try to think of the good, the heavier bad memories will slowly disappear & the bad days will get less & less x