How to cope with day to day

Losing a parent
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Just over two years ago i lost my dad, since then i have also lost my uncle (was more like a friend) and two other people important in my life and then just before Christmas my mum. I cared for her for 14 year plus with dementia, i would give just anything to have one more laugh, one more cuddle. I am beginning to find the day to day time a problem, can’t get anything done, and having so much time now to fill ( (I would see my mum four times plus a week at least in her care home) just not sure what to do really - all sounds so silly when you type it out but may be that is what is needed … thank you in advance

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Hello @KateM3,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your loved ones. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,

Alex

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Hi @KateM3,

So sorry for your losses :blue_heart:

It sounds like you have had several tragic ‘life events’ one after the other!
With no time to grieve or recover in between, so your body and mind’s reactions are perfectly normal!
You could be suffering from complicated grief?

(Sorry SR - I knew where to find this link)

You have also lost all your routine.

I can totally empathise with all of the above.

:100: journaling can help.

From personal experience could I recommend the following :-

  1. Being open about how you are feeling and talking about it. CONGRATULATIONS you have done this and welcome to the Community.

  2. Speak to your GP and also see if your surgery has a Social Practitioner you can talk with. The SP (or GP) can put you in contact with Health & Wellbeing services and also local groups.

  3. Celebrate the positives and journal at least one positive thing from the previous day. 10 months ago for me this was got up had a shower went back to bed.
    Yesterday was took Friends dog for a walk, then sat in her garden for a catch up!

  4. Re establishing your own routine - you don’t say if you work or not. But there are groups that have weekly meets or volunteering etc. Sometimes it’s good to be distracted!

  5. Exercise & Fresh air help.

  6. Grounding, Relaxation and controlling worries techniques do help

  7. You are not alone on this journey

  8. I promise you things will get better :blue_heart:

Take care :blue_heart: and sending a virtual hug :blue_heart:

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Thank you for replying, I will certainly follow up on what you have said. I do walk my dogs every day and do voluntary work for a couple of charities - partly may be the problem as dementia/care related but this also gives me a sense of purpose still, if that makes sense. I take each day as it comes and will certainly start celebrating some positives - thank you again

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