Hello, I lost my mum last Sunday, she was only 57! Myself and my 15 year old daughter found her laid on the floor. I can’t deal with the physical pain I’m feeling, it feels like someone is crushing my heart! I miss her so much I miss her text and calls everyday! Please somebody tell me this gets easier? I am so irretable with everyone. I can’t stay in my house to long I feel like I need to be out keeping myself busy constantly otherwise I just cry none stop. It hurts so badly x
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Dear S1983b,
Yes, it will get easier, but no one would be able to tell you when because each bereavement is unique and we all deal with it in different ways.
Your mum died very suddenly and was still very young, and it must have been so traumatic for you and your daughter to find her. I can understand that you describe your pain as your heart being crushed. My parents were a lot older than yours and I had time to prepare for their deaths, but the pain I felt when I lost them was different from anything I had ever felt before. Our mothers have such a special place in our lives.
Feeling irritable or even angry are all part of emotions experienced in grief. It is very early days for you. Be very kind to yourself. Keeping yourself busy can be helpful, but it is also important to allow yourself to cry when you need to. Grief can also make you feel exhausted and it can be a real effort to do just the most simple things. I found it helpful to set myself small goals and to not expect too much of myself. Do you have friends or family who can support you?
It is good that you have come to this site. Many people on here will have been where you are now and I hope that you will find it helpful to read their posts and replies.
Jo