I have just joined this group and reading all the messages, i can empathise with every one of them! I lost my husband 5 weeks ago after 49 years of marriage and the pain is indescribable. I daren’t think about the years ahead, i try to concentrate on today and just getting through the day and somehow coping with the evenings when it really hits home that he is gone. It has helped a little reading the messages and realising im not the only one going through this nightmare.
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Hi @Lynne48
You are so right - the pain is indescribable. I never realised that love could be so painful. My Mark died suddenly 3 weeks ago and I still can’t comprehend that he isnt coming home again.
One day at a time is the most we can aim for and be proud that we have achieved - reaching the day’s end.
You are cared for - take care. Yvette
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Hi @Lynne48. I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband suddenly and unexpectedly 7 weeks ago. The pain is worse than any physical pain I’ve ever felt. In my depths of despair sometimes I just want out! But I have three children and 10 grandchildren who need me. It’s very hard getting through from hour to hour and I congratulate myself if I manage to get dressed. Everything is so pointless and empty and meaningless now.
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My paul died suddenly after a brain haemorrhage on the 13th December.
I am still in shock. I cNt believe, like you, my paul will never come home. I went to see him todY at the funeral palour and sobbed solid next to him for long time. I didnt want to leave him.
Im laying here in bed at my son’s home from my first marriage, crying even though ive had Diazpam to help me sleep.
I feel so lonely, it was our second marraige and i loved him so much.
He was 65, fit and never smoked or drunk and was due to retire in 8months
I want to send a big hugs to you all in the sMe situation
We are not alone in our pain.
Xx
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Oh @Susan10 I feel your pain so much. It’s utter despair isn’t it. I count my day a success if I manage to get dressed though I do have 4 cats and I’ve managed to keep their routine for them. I’m so sorry for you all in your pain and distress. I keep getting the sudden realisation that this is permanent! It’s like been punched in the stomach.
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I am so sorry for your loss. All we can do is just hold on and let time help us. I won’t say let time heal us because right now i cant believe I’ll ever get over this. It feels like my world has come to an end. Its 7.30 a.m. and I’ve given up trying to sleep so I’m sitting in bed crying, looking at another day ive got to get through. Well ive got to get up and walk the dog. I pray that God will send some peace to all of us going through this hell.
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No one and nothing prepares you for the pain of loss. I lost my husband in February- I’m dreading facing a New Year without him. I have lovely friends and fabulous family but no one can take the place of a soulmate. We had a wonderful life and I have lots of happy memories but it’s the little things, someone to hug when you’re sad, someone to share a joke or even a TV programme with, someone to be quiet with and someone to hold hands with. I seem to just drift along now, nothing to look forward to. I am going out and trying to do the new things but I hate it! It’s his birthday today and it was the very last time we did something together and it’s painful beyond words. I feel for everyone who is going through all of this .
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It is so sad to read everyone’s stories. The unbearable pain is so palpable. I can relate to so much of what each of you have written. @cabin when you say about the little things that realky hits home. I’ve said that to people but they don’t really understand and I don’t think they will until it happens to them. For me it’s those silly little ‘in jokes’ only you two knew what they meant. I just don’t know how to carry on sometimes. It is so hard being on my own. The loneliness is … well I can’t describe how it feels. I miss my husband so much I just want him back and I know that will never be.X
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All the stories break my heart too. I sit and weep reading them but it does help me knowing that I’m not alone, that others are feeling exactly what I’m feeling. I wish some peace to everyone and God bless us all.
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Sorry @Lynne48
I’m not sure how I missed your post, I still don’t understand the workings of this site at times.
It is still such early days for you and the shock and disbelief can be so immense and exhausting. As many of us have found, the loss of our beloved partners is truly devastating and not something we had realised how bad it would be.
I am now almost nine months in to my journey and am beginning to have a life, albeit not the one I want but, I am functioning and being busy. I use the determination to make my Richard proud as my motivation for a lot of my life. I am also grateful he isn’t having to go through this pain if it had been the other way around.
Sending you love. xxx
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