My mum was diagnosed with cancer last year, she could of had an op but they deemed it too dangerous and she would lose her quality of life. She went into hospital on end of life in feb, went into our local hospice then came home to die. Im struggling so much, she passed away the end of march. But we were so close she ate dinner with us e eryday we constantly phoned each other, she was ny support for my disabled daughter. Im numb, im on antidepressants, but i cant cope its too much. I miss her so much im still crying everyday im waiting for counselling still. I honestly cant cope anymore I smile like im ok where as im dying inside
I’m sorry to read about your loss. I was advised to wait a year before I started bereavement counselling, it might be that the service provider is waiting for you to get to that year marker as well.
Losing a parent is such a horrific pain. Sending you love x
Thankyou we were told to wait 3 months but I feel like I needed it before then, I watched her bringing up her own 
groaning in pain and being unresponsive before she passed and that will never leave me, I just dont know what to do anymore
I understand your loss. It is totally soul destroying. My mum passed away from cancer a year ago and I find it very hard too to accept. My mum was my complete world. She understood me totally. And I am lost without her. Every day I think of her. I still feel very sad.
It’s going to be a long journey to get through just being able to cope is a real challenge.
For you to lose the person who you could rely upon and chat with is heartbreaking.
I do hope that with posting here it will help you in some way.
You are never alone. I found through other threads on this platform that there are always people who want to listen to you and share their mum loss. I find it can really help process things in my mind.
Take care, keep posting if you can. Sending you strength and peace. W
Hi, I felt the same as you about counselling at the start- the 3 month wait felt endless as I needed it sooner. I’m just coming to the end of my 12 sessions now (my mum passed away 6 months ago) and I can see why they make you wait now. The first few months are so raw and painful- no counselling will change that. But you’re not ready/able to talk and begin to process the loss. I suppose they have to time it so you get the most benefit. I know it seems like there is no way out- I still feel like that sometimes now. The grief will never leave you. It’s just as intense. But life just begin to slowly creep back in. Very gradually and in your own time. Just one day at a time - when the grief comes, let it. Gradually there’ll be tiny gaps in between the grief. Keep reading and talking on here. It definitely helps.
So sorry to hear about your mum, I went the other week and it was just an assessment to see what I scored on the grief scale, the actual counselling doesnt start until August. I dont think ill ever get over it, and I as daft as it sounds feel like its a trigger when people say that to me or it gets easier. Everyone’s journey is different, the relationship different….I go back to work soon and im worried how im going to cope, ive avoided everyone
Yeah I’ll never get over it. I’m not convinced it’ll ever get easier either. I think that’s why we’re all on here trying to help each other. Sending you best wishes.
Yea thats true, I guess in the end we just kind of learn to live with it sadly and learn how to cope eventually. Sending you lots of love 