How to fill the void of losing your mum

I lost my mum recently, it was very sudden and having fallen into a coma, she didn’t regain consciousness, passing away a number of days later. We sat and talked with her, but it didn’t feel like we were able to say our final goodbyes. I just feel I’m stuck in a void and cant go forward or back, not sure which direction to take. I miss talking to her so much, we spoke every day and now I feel that Covid robbed us of spending time together over the recent year, as she lived some distance away and the restrictions prevented us from seeing each other and spending our weekends together. It would be lovely to talk with people who are experiencing a similar pain, my friends are supportive, but they can’t really understand the loss I am feeling as they haven’t experienced it themselves. Thank for taking the time to read my message, if you have any ideas for ways I can move forward, then please feel free to advise.



I completely understand, I also lost my mum in June 20 due to a sudden heart attack and I feel so robbed of everything xx it’s been a year now and I have to keep going for my family but I understand your pain and feelings xx

Stay strong

C x

I lost my beloved Mum in September 2020 to lung cancer. She also went into a coma 2 days before she passed away.

It’s so upsetting to not be able to say a final goodbye but know that she is out of pain and at peace now.

I contacted Bereavement care to get phone counselling. The lady was about my Mum’s age which I found comforting. She sent me a booklet which really helped and gave me 8 weeks counselling.
Alternatively contact Cruse Bereavement in your area

Hope this helps
Sending care and comfort to you

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Hi Jules,

Sorry to hear about your Mum, I know how you feel. I lost my Mum in April of this year. She had terminal cancer however she had a brain haemorrhage and slipped into a coma and was like that for 2 days before she sadly passed away.

If you’re feeling anything like me you feel lost and empty. You try to get on with things but something always brings you back to that void. Something which helped me feel “normal” so to speak is that grief technically doesn’t go away we grow around it. We become different people and slowly the sadness will turn to happy memories and thinking of her won’t pain you but put a smile on your face. I’m not there yet myself but I want to keep her memory alive so I try to speak of her often with friends and family, Bringing up lovely memories.

Your Mums story may have ended but she lives on through you. This is your chapter.


Hi Hanny

I can read so much into your message that is reflected on my own situation. It is early days and like you there is a lot to process about the situation, it takes time and I am still not there yet. Hopefully we will both move on to the future and recall the happy times, just think that is some way off.

Try and remain positive and consider the fact that both your mum and mine are both out of pain and probably enjoying a cup of tea or glass of something with someone they previously knew.


Thank you Lozzo, just don’t think I’m ready to talk to anyone on the phone about it at the moment. Maybe in time I will feel differently, just feel so cheated about the way it happened.

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Hi Jules

This is very true! In fact during my Mums funeral they sent her coffin off with a cup of tea. I still find it very hard to believe that she’s gone sometimes, I find myself saying oh I’ll have to ask Mum about…then have to stop myself and remember that I can not longer speak to her. I think that’s the hardest thing to digest is the fact I can no longer speak to her. I say that but I very much speak to her she just doesn’t reply anymore haha! Not sue entirely what your situation was but my Mum was only 62 and I’m only 29 so although I’m very much an adult I feel way to young to be losing my Mum. I feel like she will miss out on so much. I have yet to have kids and all she wanted to be was a grandparent and it saddens me I never gave her that whilst she was alive, I guess there will always be regrets somewhere along the line, things we can’t correct which we should voice but not dwell on as if Mum was here today she would be saying “Don’t be silly!”.


Hi Hanny
I’m so sorry for your loss and your regrets at not giving your mum grandchildren. I don’t have any words of comfort other than I hear what you say.

I lost my mum this Easter Sunday. I don’t have children and am single and we were very close so it’s a big loss. But she was 80. My brother has 3 grown up children and she has 3 great grandchildren. The youngest of which she got to meet in January when they were born before she became too poorly to see them. So that is a blessing, I guess.

Take care. Sending you a virtual hug.


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I sad lost my mum on the 1.8.2021 and I to feel the void of her not being able to say good bye to she died of a haemorrhage. It is so hard with covid.


Hi annelshikawa, so sorry to hear of your loss it’s so recent for you, I lost my mum on July 10th, had the funeral today its been so hard to cope each day since she passed away, I looked after her at home for the last 6 weeks so she could be with my dad and the rest of the family, I still feel guilty, angry, lost and a lot of other emotions, I will never be the same person as I was, talking on here helps to feel your not on your own, keep in touch you are in my thoughts
Lynn x

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i am so lucky not to have the guilt of her death as were are a small family of 3 and were with her till the very end. i am contacting the funeral director tomorrow to help my dad out.

I’m so glad I was there with my mum right till the end , I was determined she wasn’t going to be on her own, the guilt I feel is that she is no longer with us, I miss her every single day, I have two older brothers and two very supportive daughters, but the loss of your mum is devastating & I’m sure will take a long time to get over