How to help my children with the grief

Coping with bereavement
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Hi! I lost my husband four years ago (brain tumour) and our boys turned one the day after he died. Even now I still feel like I’m grieving and have memories that pop into my head, just recently one of my boys started crying at bedtime and I asked him what was wrong- he said he missed daddy and can’t we bring him back so we can be normal again. I doubt he actually remembers him sadly, though I’ve shown pictures so they know about their daddy. Any tips on how to approach this now they are coming to an age where they understand without having known him ?

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I have no advice to give I just pray that you will find a way to explain something so very complicated. He doesn’t get the idea of “death” or what it means, but he knows you are sad and he hears these great stories about his wonderful dad and he would like to meet him and see him.

Perhaps this is something an uncle can help you with. They were little fellas once too. They may have advice on how to handle this.

Much love. It is heartbreaking. I am so sorry.

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Hello @lippy2022,

I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband. Thank you for reaching out to the community - I hope you find it to be a support to you.

You’ve asked how you can support your children so I wanted to share a few resources with you which may help.

They have a guide on when a child is grieving someone they can’t remember which you might find helpful to read.

  • Winston’s Wish provides grief and bereavement support for children and young people (up to 25) after the death of someone important. They have a helpline that you can call free on 08088 020 021 between 8am-8pm, weekdays. They also have a live chat feature on their website.

Books can be a good way to help children understand death and grieving. If you search online you can find lots of suggestions. Here is a list from Scholastic you might want to look at.

Take good care and keep reaching out,

Seaneen

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