How to help my Dad through his grief

Hi all,

I hope I might find some helpful advice through this forum.

I recently lost my mum to secondary cancer, it’s been 6 weeks. It was very quick in the end and came as a bit of a shock, unfortunately she didn’t tell us the truth about her cancer in the final stages and how near to the end she was.

My Dad is really struggling and I’m so worried about him. He is a very proud man but was also completely dependent on her in many ways and so is finding it hard to reach out to people for support. I am not an only child but I am the only one on the scene so I feel determined in helping him through this. I see that not a lot of his friends are contacting him or reaching out to him and he’s finding the loneliness one of the hardest things. I can understand that people struggle to know how to help or support a grieving person but I feel I have no one to help me help him.

I know he does not tell me everything, because he doesn’t want to make me worry or feels that he is interrupting my life (his words) but he has admitted to me that he had a conversation with someone about him having ‘S’ thoughts and now I’m worried more than ever.

Please can someone give me even a little advice? We live in a small backwater town in Lincolnshire and have very little access to counselling groups or support from organisations like McMillan. He is not the kind of man to use the internet for support groups and I feel he would absolutely benefit from some counselling but how do I access it for him?

Thanks for reading my post and I hope someone who may have experienced similar might just be able to help me.

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Hi sorry for your loss it sounds like your Dad isn’t coping at all. He needs support or something to help him through this dark period, They do counselling on here it’s video based, Or you can apply to Cruse they do theirs over the phone, Don’t know if that has changed,

As it used to be face to face. It might be worth making an appointment with his GP and having a referal to your local mental health services.

I fully understand the loneliness. It’s such a hard thing to deal with. If you get something in place it may give you some breathing space.

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Hi @Fitzy, I’m sorry for the loss of your mum. Just to add to @MarkC’s advice, we offer free online video chat counselling, which you can find out more about here. We also have a Supporting Someone Through Grief resource which you might find helpful in supporting your dad. I’m sure you are grieving too, so please do think about accessing our online bereavement support for yourself as well.

Take care

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Are there any Meetup groups in your area, you could go with him perhaps? I find they help me to connect with others, and it’s surprising how many people are bereaved.