How to live?

My husband passed away 4 months ago. He was the strongest man I have ever known and had never been sick in his life he was diagnosed 1 week and died 2 weeks later, he was 41 and we’d been together over 20 years. The pain of losing him is all consuming. I work and carry on but the loss is unbearable, I keep wondering when the pain will ease and how do I live without him


Hi Antonio
How do I live without him and when will the pain eaae ? Two questions I have asked myself every day for the past year. How I’ve managed to keep going I don’t know and the pain although not all time consuming as it was, it’s still there. I have just learnt to live with the pain and living without him is just a slog. One day after the other they’re all the same. Some are good and other days not so good but again I’ve learnt to cope only because I have no choice. I’ve been out to my daughter-in-law’s 40th birthday meal this evening and it’s so tough being on my own - John would have loved it. But I go, smile and say the right things but coming back to an empty house is just the pits. Don’t think I’ll ever get used to that.

Off now to my empty bed to face another day tomorrow. Take care !
:heart: Georgina x


It’s like a bad version of groundhog day xx


Hi Antonio, I totally understand how you are feeling. My husband was also 41 when he passed away 2 months ago. We had been together 17 years. So we are in a fairly similar situation. It just seems so unfair and cruel that someone so young is taken away from you. The pain, loneliness and sadness is completely overwhelming, and the tears flow… A lot! I wish I had answers for you, I really do, I’m searching for those answers too. This forum has helped me lot over the past few weeks, just knowing that you are not alone in feeling how you do is some comfort.
Take care
Amanda xx


Hi Antonio, my husband N, passed away unexpectedly 7 weeks ago. I feel so lost and alone, he was my love, my life, my soul mate and my best friend. No-one calls, not our families or friends. It was our wedding anniversary on Monday, I made myself go and visit some good friends of ours and we remembered the good times and had a few pints of N’s favourite beer.
I cry everyday, and just want someone to hold me.
His ashes are in a beautiful marble urn next to his photo, I light a candle most evenings and sit and talk to him, telling him about my day and how I am feeling.
Another rough night last night, I finally managed to get some sleep at some point after 6am, but was awake again before 9am. I turned over in the night and my arm reached out to emptiness, that brought on a fresh bout of crying.
I have no motivation and have to make myself eat, I have made a list of everything that needs sorting out in the flat, but finding it hard to start anything.
Where did everyone go? They all said that they are here for me, but only my neighbour checks I am coping, she unfortunately understands, as she lost her father 8 months ago.


I can’t speak for anyone else, but a year on and the consuming pain has eased and I’ve started to eat. Time seems to be doing something but the loneliness got to me even though my daughter lives with me. So, 9 chickens later and doing things me and Steve never did together his helping me out. I had to find a way to survive, my children, mother, sister and brother, I couldn’t do that to them. So, I try to fill my time with new experiences and it does ease the pain and loss. Hope that helps someone else. Xxx


Hi, I took some advice and used 2 pillows where Steve would sleep, it helped and I cried a lot but it helped me. Xxx

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Well said Antonio.x