Hi,
My mother died only two months ago from a brain bleed that occurred on the anniversary of my fathers funeral. We were really close and had gotten even closer this last year. I am struggling to process all the ripple affects of this huge loss in my life whilst having to also take on the daily ups and downs of being a mother to multiple children who also need me because they have lost beloved grandparents and also have SEN needs.
Every day without my mum feels like I am starting life again and facing hurdles and in some ways I am proud that I am trying my best. However I worry because I think I managed to grieve my dad because I did that with my mum and now she is gone and was a very safe person to me, I don’t know how I am going to start that journey.
I was just wondering if there were any other people out there who have lost both, specifically to what seemed to be a broken heart?
The complexity to it is that I know my mum loved my dad with all her heart and so am happy she is at peace with him. But equally I now just miss them both soo much.
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Hi @AwayfromNormality
Thank you for bravely reaching out. I’m so sorry to hear about your parents. Things may sound really difficult right now, but please know that you are not alone.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer you their support. In the meantime, you might find these Sue Ryder resources helpful.
You can also find local support which may be offering in person or online via The Good Grief Trust website.
I noted that you have also mentioned supporting your children, so I am including some other resources which may also helpful.
Books can be a good way to help children understand death and grieving. If you search online you can find lots of suggestions. Here is a list from Scholastic you might want to look at.
I hope you find the community to be a support to you. Take good care and keep reaching out 
Naoise
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Hi. My heart goes out to you and im so sorry for the pain you are feeling over the loss of your parents,you should be proud that you are doing your best by your children,no one could expect more of you.i lost my parents many years ago and I miss them every day even now.all I can say is take comfort from your children who look up to you as you did with your mum for support,they need you now for comfort with loosing there nan and grandad .theres nothing wrong with crying we all do on this site unashamably,I lost my wife 6 months ago after 63 years of marriage and cry day and night.i know you will be strong for both yourself and your children and I understand the pain is unbearable, I hope you can find some peace in the future Regards Dave
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Hi @AwayfromNormality
My mom passed 5 years ago, brain tumours, she was my safety net, so I understand feeling lost in grief, I think when someone we love passes, at first we spend time where we feel lost, on autopilot, as it takes time to process what has happened, & what this loss means, but this is your grief journey, so do what works for you. Some people keep a grief journal, some make a scrapbook or memory box, some talk to a picture of their loved one, since my baby passed during pregnancy some years ago, I started writing letters to him, I find this therapeutic, though I will always miss him. But when a parent passes, though we know realistically no-one lives forever, we don’t expect it, we’re just so used to them being there because they’ve been with us through so much, so when they’re gone… it’s heartbreaking. It’s good that you support your kids through the loss of their grandparents, but it’s also important to take time for yourself, partly to process, but to think about what you need, if you feel you need some form of support, as they say on planes, “in an emergency, you put your own oxygen mask on before helping others,” take care of yourself. Sending hugs of support
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I am ao sorry for your losses sending healing hugs, I have just lost both my parents 5 weeks apart, it’s been 3 months since my mum and 2 months since my Dad died. I am also trying to find ways to cope. I also try and find comfort that my mum needed my dad to heal on her next journey and my dad needed my mum, they were a pair and were totally lost without each other, it’s never easy for us left behind, I miss them both so so much and sometimes the grief overwhelms me, but for me they are now continuing their spiritual journey together, they never spent a day apart in 58 years so they are both where they should be, together in spirit forever, both healing together. Xx
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