Hello everyone!
I am feeling rather low this evening and just wondered if anyone else has found the Easter holiday particularly difficult? Since Barry died (10th June 2016) I have, like everyone else posting on this site, had some reasonable days, many bad days and many more worse days but for some reason this weekend has seemed interminable and time has weighed so heavily on me. I seldom go out these days but I made myself go to church yesterday hoping to experience some feeling of hope for the future but in fact the opposite seems to have happened and I am more aware than ever of the emptiness of life without my soulmate. I guess it’s all part of the shipwreck but would welcome any input to steer me again into calmer waters! Take care everyone.
Hello Amelie’sgran, I’m really sorry to read you have been feeling low this evening, especially as you seem to try to keep positive. I’m not sure if I will be able to steer you into calmer waters, but the one thing that helps me when I feel particularly low is the thought that the low is temporary and will pass eventually. I have had quite a few low days recently, going to bed feeling sort of ok but waking up very early next morning feeling really bad and having dark thoughts that often persist into the afternoon. I’m sort of ok just now, so this morning’s low has passed, but of course it could be there again tomorrow. The fact that it keeps changing gives me hope that one day I will reach that safe harbour you once mentioned, where the lows will be fewer and further between, and a bit less intense, and where I might rest a while. I wish you a peaceful night.
Hello, so sorry to hear you’ve had a bad day. I have also, I am in complete agreement that holidays seem to make things feel even worse. I’m hoping we can all get eachother through by talking and sharing. Hope you have a peaceful nights sleep x
Hi there,
It’s been a difficult week for me too. My regular commitments helped to keep me on track over the winter, but they have come to an end for now. I came home from a short trip away with a list of projects to tackle, but there’s no urgency and I just can’t find the motivation. An erratic sleep routine doesn’t help either. I dragged myself out of the house on Saturday in an attempt to enjoy the spring sunshine, flowers and birdsong, but ended up overcome with sadness that my dear soulmate couldn’t share them. Everyone else seems to have been so tied up with their own activities over the weekend. Hopefully it will pass, but it feels like I’m wasting time and achieving nothing. Maybe it would be better to think of it as healing time…
Thinking of you I’ve had an awful few days to wishing you peace
Thank you so much for your reply and for reminding me that none of us are truly alone. I hope you have a better day today.
Thank you so much for your reply and for reminding me that none of us are truly alone. I hope you have a better day today.
No problem my dads funeral is Friday so a hard week ahead one step at a time hey! Wishing you a peaceful day be kind to yourself
Thank you Wease, I hope you are feeling better today, and wish you peace too.
Thank you Wease. I shall be especially thinking of you on Friday…look after yourself and try to remember the happy times x
Dear Dancing queen, I think healing time is exactly the right way to think of days like that. After all healing is what this horrible grief journey is all about. We have to believe it is leading us to a better place - not back to where we were of course, or where we planned to be, but somewhere where we don’t feel so overwhelmed, where we don’t hurt so much, and where we don’t feel so lonely. Just like you the spring sunshine makes me sad because I’m looking at it on my own. I used to love listening to birdsong early in the morning, but now it just reminds me of what I’ve lost. I try to will myself to feel the joy it used to bring but simply can’t. No one can tell us how long our journey will be, and there are no shortcuts; it’s a journey we just have to make, and if we have the odd day when all we can do is survive, well at least it’s one day of grieving behind us, and one day nearer to the time when grief must surely loosen the grip it has on our lives.