How do you find yourselves again? Its been almost 9 months since I lost my mum 10 days after having my 2nd baby, a girl. She will never experience playing with her nana like her brother did and that upsets me so much. I am forever grateful my mum hung on to meet her and she really did bless her. I had my baby induced at 38 weeks when medically safe to ensure this. I just wish they all, we all had more time together. I didnt take nearly as many videos as I should’ve but every time we visited she would play with my son and encourage him.( still pregnant) She loved her grandbabies with all the world and i know that i just miss her! It will be a year in 3 months, her diagnosis just came up on my facebook time line so we have three months untill her untimely death. My mum didnt want to die she wanted to fight but treatment included the loss of her tongue and remaining face. There would be no follow up as chemo wouldnt work and she physically couldn’t have more radiotherapy so it big C would surely return even after all this. No trial drugs were available either. Obviously I did not allow this, if I’d have said do it anyway mum shed have done it but what type of life would she have had untill it came back again? Not being able to eat, drink, speak, and thats even if she survived the operation with her scar filled lungs from the previous ops. Thats no life for anyone, especially not my mum after whats shed already been through for 8 years! Shes far too special to suffer like that for us. Yet I miss her so much!!
I am sorry if this is againt the rules i just had to get it all off my chest
Hi @Butterfly1 I’m so sorry to hear about your mum, i completely relate to your post and felt like i wanted to reach out.
Back in August 2020 i lost my little sister (18 years old) it completely destroyed me. I miss her so much and i always will.
Then 2 months later i lost my mum and it destroyed my soul! I havent been the same since, i still havent come to terms with their deaths.
I also relate with your mum missing her grand children, i was so lucky to have my mum as my birthing partner for my daughter and i know i couldn’t of gotten through that without her.
Which then leads me to the guilt part, because my other younger sister about a year later was pregnant with her first child and she didnt get mums support or advice like i did.
My mum also became my daughters guardian for a while because i became unwell i will never be able to thank my mum enough for what she did for me and my daughter.
My daughter got to spend 7 years knowing her nan and my sisters daughter never got that chance and i carry the guilt for that.
So i wanted to share some of my story with you and let you know that your not alone!
Here if you ever want to chat, stay strong x