…after a bad weekend…
How do you cope when your world implodes?
How do you carry an impossible load?
How do you mend what can’t be fixed?
How do you live a life now blitzed?
How can you manage a world torn apart?
How can you live with a broken heart?
How can you plan for a future gone?
How can you grasp you’re now alone?
…I have no answers…
So well said, UnityMan. I am so stressed today after a kind of okayish weekend (just a few tears) that I cannot stop crying. I went to the library to return a DVD and had a breakdown returning home. I am crying so much that I am actually feeling sick. I think I will take Kalms again today although I stopped taking them for a long time now. I planned to go out in the garden to do a bit of weeding but I just cannot face it because I also have problems with my blood pressure today - I just made it home with difficulties. I am on my own and it does frighten me because I am not very healthy. We always looked out for each other and if I would drop dead today nobody even would notice for a longer time. Sorry for the long reply. Sending you lots of love and hugs.
…and to you…take care as best you can 
I dunno either ? I just know its crap 
i recently started with waves of emotion again. I can feel them coming ! And off i go with the tears ! I wish i was happy again like i was when my husband was here ! Its not fair to lose our darling partners and my husband was too young ! im bloody p***ed off !!! And im also thinking of moving again ! Im not happy here anymore ! I just wish i had some morsel of hope for a way out of this misery ! but not found a way out yet !!! I hope we can all find a way out one day Xx
Dear Deb5, Thank you for asking. I was not too bad during the day because I kept myself busy by going to Lakeside but now I am sad again and cry. The evenings are terrible and I still cannot really sleep well. And I hate this roller-coaster of feelings, despair, tears, etc. and there seems no end to it. Sending you lots of love and hugs.
Did you contact any helplines ? Theyre really good you know if you feel rubbish ! I used them a lot at beginning cos i was in a right mess. You need to reach out for some extra help you know cos you are really struggling … but that’s ok you know … lots of us are struggling. Not just you Xx
Do you feel like your grief comes in waves ? I went for a bath tonight… i was in tears to my daughter this morning - saying i miss talking to your dad - which i do ! Then i was ok took dog out for walk and chatted to a few people, made tea. Got in bath and i could feel the wave of grief coming over me and the tears rolling down my face xx
That’s what I meant as I was talking about roller-coaster. One minute I have a kind of acceptance and I am okayish - the next minute I am on the floor bawling my eyes out and calling him to come back to me. It is such a horrible nightmare existence.
Yep im the same ! Awful isnt it xxx i think its just the gap in your life that they have left and the pain of that hits you so hard sometimes … x
Yes, you are right. Even after nearly 2 years, there are times when it is so hard to believe that he is gone and never coming back. He was so incredibly fit and with the energy of someone half his age. I thought I’d b the one to go first! But all his fitness did not help against an aggressive brain tumour and it was all over in 4 months.
I try to find solace in gardening , my great hobby and that helps - sometimes!
How are you today?
Ann