I was very upset on Saturday when a close friend said
“Well it was time for him to go wasn’t it, he was in so much pain and so poorly”. I was speechless and couldn’t respond. Am I being silly thinking it was hurtful.
Then she started on about New Year’s Eve and how we should go out like we always do. I said absolutely not, and she said well it’s a bit early for you to decide yet. Why would I want to be celebrating a new year without him…?
@Paddy53 Perhaps they were just trying to be comforting by saying he wasn’t in anymore pain, however clumsily expressed. The New Year’s plans are a bit tactless though considering you’ll be entering it without your loved one. What’s to celebrate. Sometimes I don’t think it’s intentional with friends, unless they’ve been thru it.
I think we become very sensitive but from her point of view she was just thinking of the facts & what she say your partner going through, she’s not feeling the emotional turmoil that you are, in respect of new year I think she said it for something to say, I don’t think she intended any hurt at all.
I think a lot of people genuinely don’t know what to say and often come out with the same old platitudes. I’ve certainly had plenty of “If there’s anything I can do”, “At least she’s not suffering any more” etc. If I’m honest, I’ve probably said similar myself over the years when speaking to other bereaved people. I’m always prepared to give the benefit of the doubt and assume they mean well but maybe just express it a bit clumsily.
People are so bloody callous ! Im sure you were speechless 
xxx
I generally think people just dont think before they open their gob ! Thats what i think !!!
Some people are just very insensitive and thoughtless individuals perhaps you had not notice this before. Others are genuinely trying to be supportive but just mouth platitudes It’s very painful sometimes
I was at my friends funeral last year and another mourner said to me well at least it was quick Well my friend had died in South America just before her son’s wedding took place This was her 2nd attempt to see her son married Ist time she got there and was cancelled due to Covid I don’t think it would have been any consolation to her that she died quickly
. Just thoughtless platitudes This is all part of grieving I am sorry to say
Yeh you soon find out that there are some horrible people in the world ! Thats for sure xxx