3 weeks ago my husband passed away unexpectedly from heart disease, one minute he was talking then passed out but couldn’t be saved by paramedics. The last 3 weeks organising funeral and being strong for other family members have kept me busy but now they are all getting on with their lives but mine has gone.
We worked our own business together spent every minute together for the last 20 odd years and due to running our own business we don’t have any real friends or ones I could talk too
My children are all older and dealing with their own problems so just now I feel so lost and in pain and really don’t know how to cope and if this will get easier we had made so many plans that now won’t happen, just want to be with him.
Not only was we husband and wife but best friends and I miss him so much.
Dear Jac17
So sorry that you too find yourself on this terrible and difficult journey. I lost my husband last year. He went out on his motorbike and never returned. During first lockdown we had agreed that I should retire at Christmas and when travel restrictions lifted we would go on a long anticipated trip. Everything gone. We have two adult children who are also trying to come to terms with their dad’s death.
I do not have any answers. For me I do not look forward, I just take one day at a time. Visit our grandchildren as a distraction and stay close to home for the most part.
Hi Jac,
I lost my husband in May, suddenly and unexpectedly due to an undiagnosed heart condition. The first couple of months I think I was too numb, but now everything is real and I hate it. We were hoping to retire in a couple of years and had lots of plans which will now come to nothing.
Every day is hard. We were best friends for 38 years, married for nearly 35. He was only 58. I feel resentful of my friends who are happy and together then feel guilty for doing so.
I’m just trying to take a day at a time.
Dear Jac17
You have suffered one of the worst kinds of bereavment possible. Sudden death of a partner is catastrophic. Try to get some professional councilling. Family in my experience are often found wanting when it comes to solid support. It will take time for you to come to terms with your loss. Take all the help you can get, especially from people on this site.
Love to you
Bobmajor aka Tricia
My story is similar to yours… I lost my husband in August this year… It was a very sudden heart attack which has left me and my children reeling… We don’t know what normal is anymore… Its facing this new life which I hate without him… He was my absolute Hero… He was only 56, I’m 54…too young to be facing all this… Yes I have my children and friends around me but I still feel so alone… Everyone is being wonderful… But none of them are my husband who I shared such intimate things with for 22 years… My first marriage was domestic violence and abuse… He gave me 22 years of total love and support… My absolute Hero… I don’t want this life without him… How the heck does anyone fill his shoes… I feel too young to be alone but I also know I will never find such a diamond again… He is a most rare breed… I just want him back… But in reality I know that isn’t going to happen
My wife had cancer for over 2 years before she died . We also worked together and spent all,our time together for 20 years.
So I can understand your feelings.
There’s no reason for me to do anything now. I’ve been randomly,driving around staying in a couple of places. To try and force myself to be "in the world " a little bit.
My reason is gone.
So,just trying to say, I know how you feel a little bit
Hi jac sorry for the loss of your husband.
I lost my partner of 25 years in may this year in very similar circumstances, she came to bed and had a cardiac arrest and she also couldn’t be saved. I feel exactly the same as you and really struggle every day. As you say about your husband and you being best friends etc we were exactly the same. It’s been over 4 months for me and I miss her so much and everyone tells me it will get easier but not seeing it yet. I joined a bereavement group called way up that I found helpful as they have coffee mornings and Sunday lunches every month that get me out some weekends. might be worth you looking them up on google, they are just for people who have lost a husband/wife or partner so they really do know how we feel. x
i lost my husband very suddely, through an accident at work, i remember being busy with funeral arrangements, banks, anything that had anything to do with him, a mess,
It does get easier over time, but ive found he will always be part of you, just remember the good times
Thank you for your reply and I’m very sorry for your loss.
We to had so many plans too, he’d just got his motorbike mot’ed as we were due to go away on the Monday to travel around Scotland it would have been our first time going on a long tour on his bike and he was so looking forward to it like a big kid.
We just had so many plans to start enjoying our life now as our children were getting older now and our business was doing well too and could run without us.
I’m here if you ever wish to talk x
Hi
Thank you for your reply and yes I think I will as it’s getting harder each day x
I lost my wife 7 months ago. 2 months prior she had severe sepsis after a surgery admitted to the ICU but miraculously recovered and returned home on Xmas day 2020. Like all of you we had plans to retire in a foreign country. We went there in Jan 2021 we both loved it. Suddenly in March a cardiovascular problem took her away within 12 hours. We were childhood sweethearts met each other since 17. We went through all the ups and downs together. She was my best friends; after 32 years together we still have never ending conversations. Now 7 months elapsed the loneliness is hitting me hard. I have few other friends being alone all the time is killing me. We have a sweet 15 yo daughter. She is brilliant in every way and I am proud of her. But what I need is a partner to spend the rest of my life together. This pain is so gut wrenching I have to type this message to feel slightly better. I too don’t have answer. I don’t know what life is in stock for me. What I do know is this tormenting life is consuming me 24/7.
Bless you… ditto situation … the planning the waiting etc was horrendous now its all over… bang I’m on my own and everyone getting on with stuff apart from me…my chris was my rock my best friend now I’ve gotta defend for myself and I don’t know how too…
Christmas coming up how on hell are we expected to do this…
No expectations, can’t do it alone, take each day as it comes, highs and Lows, it’s tough, I know Xmas is coming, just let it pass over , the first year is always the hardest
Xx
This will be my second Christmas without husband. Plan on doing what I did last year and except for the grandkids, the event no longer exists for me.
I lost my wife in March she went into hospital on Friday and passed away on Saturday lunchtime. It was exactly the same when she went everybody was there but then people get back on with there lives and you are left in your own place.
my wife gone in March too; Went in hospital gone within 12 hours; She’s just 50; never expect she would left me so soon; everything in my life is shattered into a million pieces. I can’t blame others for they have their lives but 8 months on it’s the loneliness and emptiness that is so unbearable. Take care.
I feel for you. I was exactly your age when I lost my first husband. Then I met my second husband. David was also widowed and said ’ after 3 montbs people think you are over it and they all stop contacting you ’ He was the best thing that ever happened to me. I fell in love and spent the best 24 years of my life with him. Now that dear soul has passed on, died last November. I owe him so much. He saved me. Now I’m grieving again for him, David.
Good luck to you
When you’ve finished your grieving you have a life ahead of you.
Don’t dispare, there is always the possibility of change.
Love Bobmajor aka Tricia
I feel for you, since I have pretty much the same feelings. My friends and family keep telling me, “take one day at a time……” but getting through each hour is tough….