Hurting hard after stillborn.

Im a dad aged 33 my x partner gave birth to still born in june. We split not long after as grief was to much.
Now months down line its hitting me harder than ever. Im really struggling to control it. I feel like im shouting but the worlds moved on.
Anybody any tips help advice to ease my pain just a little. Everyday a struggle. Im known as a real mans mans to friends family so no one seems to notice im dying inside. Even when i talk about hurt people exspect me to be ok. Im hurting so much i cry myself to sleep everyday. I cant snap out of it.
Thank you Stephen. KOBI-LEE x

Hello Stephen,

I’m so very sorry to hear that your child was still born in June and that you and your partner have since separated. I cannot begin to image what you’re going through at the moment, but please know that you can share what you’re feeling in this community and we will be here to listen.

I’m sure you’ll get some supportive replies from other community members soon, but in the meantime I would encourage you to have a look at an organisation called Sands, who support people who’ve experienced a stillbirth or neonatal death:

If there’s anything I can support you with please do get in touch.

Take care,

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Thanks for the reply
Im at my wits end grief is ripping me apart. Im on the verge of losing my job. I cant control my anger or pain. I spend all my spare time at the grave even though eats me up inside going there.
My life is litrally falling apart at the seems and i feel like im watching in from the outside. Ive looked all over internet for help. Been to the doctors which was more stressful than helpful. I really dont know which way to turn.

It sounds as though you’re really in need of some support. You mention that your visit to your doctor was stressful rather than helpful - were they unable to make any suggestions for local support?

If you feel that counselling is something that could be useful for you then we offer free online bereavement counselling via video chat. You’d be more than welcome to book in for an assessment with one of our counsellors to see how we can best help you. There’s more information about that here:

Otherwise, if you feel up to it, it might be worth giving the Sands helpline a call or email on 0808 164 3332 / as they may know of where you can find specialist support with your loss.

I hope you find the support you’re looking for. Do keep talking to us if it helps and let me know if there’s anything I can do for you.

Take care,

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I realy understand We lost our granddaugter at 6 days old In Aug 17 I am talking to her everyday I cry everyday I am cross to see couples with new borns nothing helps me I alm trying to be strong for my daughter But that makesit harder when I leave her Please talk to me

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I really feel the same. Im stuck and hung up on the death of my child. I feel anger daily and it kills me inside the thought of his little sweet face.
Nothing makes me feel better. Talking about it seems the only answer but people feel akward when i try. I feel im trapped and it hurts so much. Ii miss my little man, miss the future he could ov had. Life is so unfair and it hurts like hell.
I really pass on my best wishes and massive hugs to you because if your hurting a fraction of what i am i know that you need help like me. Please dont suffer alone ive managed to get a little help. It takes the mind away from pain if only for a few minutes. Keep talking to me. Keep talking to people that can understand your grief.

I think of what my Little granddaughter should be doing The shops are full of xmas 1st baubles etc It tears my heart apart please please know I am with you xx

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Hello x

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