Hurting more than ever lately

Lost my mum four and a half years ago, and I have just recently got engaged and sins then all I feel is sorrow that my mum won’t be her to be with me on my big day, but also anger that my fiancé will have his mum there, it sounds so pitiful but I can’t seem to shake how I’m feeling

Hi Hannah,

Welcome to the Sue Ryder Online Community. I’m so sorry to hear that you lost your mum at such a young age.

Congratulations on your engagement, although I can see that it is bittersweet for you without your mum. It is really common for grief to resurface at key times or big changes in life, and it is natural that you feel her absence more than ever at this time.

Perhaps you could think about some way that you can make her memory a part of your big day, like having some photo or memento that you could have with you?

Have you ever had any counselling or bereavement support? This is something that a lot of people find helpful - just having a neutral person to talk to as an outlet and to work things through.

You can ask your GP about a counselling referral, or give the Cruse Bereavement helpline a call on 0808 808 1677.

And, of course, I am glad that you have found this site, as many people do find it helpful to talk to others who’ve been through similar experiences.

For example, we have another user called EmBeth_1994, who also lost her dad around the same time as you lost your mum, and is a similar age to you. You might find it helpful to read about her experiences. You can see one of her posts here:

i lost my father 11 years ago and i have never got over it the pain never leaves you then last week i lost my big brother suddenly he was only 43 i feel all those awful feelings are coming down on me all i can do is take each day at a time. You have to know your mum may not be with you in body but she will be watching over you. Embrace the fact you have your mum in law try not to hold grudges as life really is too short …i know that only too well. xxxx