Hi, I’m looking for some help. My 42 year old husband has been battling melanoma, which we have now been told is incurable and aggressive. Without further treatment they think possibly before Christmas, with some treatment maybe a couple of months. We have two young boys, 7 and 5 and the eldest has quite sever autism. I feel like my heart is broken watching him know he is going to leave our boys, and I can’t imagine life without him. I love him so much and don’t want to do this without him
Dear Stacy,
I am so sorry that you and your husband have had such heartbreaking news from his doctors. That must have been such a shock, especially as he is so young and you have two young boys. Io be honest, I really don’t know what to say. I hope that you will get replies from people who have been in a situation like yours and share with you what has helped them. I also hope that you will be able to make the most of the time you have left together and make many precious memories. Do you have family and friends who can support you? Or is there maybe a melanoma support group you could contact? My thoughts are with you and your family,
Jo.
Hi @Stacy, I am so sorry this is happening, and I really don’t know what to say, except that you and your family are in my thoughts.
I’m so sorry. Not knowing is bad but knowing must be even more terrifying. Make memories. Make videos of even the smallest of things. Make cards. Have him write things down. I can’t imagine what you or your husband are going through. These are just a few things I wish I had memories of like their writing how they used to write my name their voice etc.
Hello @Stacy. I’m so sorry this is happening. MacMillan should be able to help you prepare the children. You need all the support you can get at this time - please ask for anything you need. Can you get help from one of the autism charities? There should be lots of support from district nurses and your local hospice - although it’s so difficult because of COVID. You should be able to talk to a counsellor to help with your feelings - you can always post here. There’s the practical aspect and the emotional aspect, I find the emotional aspect is much more difficult. I had only a few days with my husband at the end - I tried to do the best I could for him but I needed more help than I got. I hope very much that you all can have some peaceful happy moments that you will all remember when your husband is gone.
Stacy like most I really don’t know what to say. My heart goes out to you it really does such devastating news and at such an early age. Please keep posting on this site I have found it such a comfort when I lost my husband 11 week ago .
I’m sure like the rest of us with young families you will do what ever you feel is right at the time,do you have other family members around you to support you . Take care always here stay strong thinking of you Karen x x 
Hello Stacy,
Firstly, my heart goes out to you, it truly does. Your post puts life into perspective, it really does. Can I point you in the direction of ASGMA which is The Aspiration ps Project which offers practical support for children living with Autism. Societies supporting those with Autism aim to provide support for ones whole life’s journey which sadly includes facing the very challenging aspect of bereavement. Autism Societies are there for the whole family and if you require help and advice the number for your area is 0161 866 8483. There are also Parent support Groups in your area 0161 9984667 which is a consortium of support. Please don’t walk these miles alone. Creating a Social Story now in preparation to help both of your children will also bring you and your husband comfort in knowing you are supporting in a positive way. If you Google pathfindersforautism.org you will find a child’s own social story he was supported in when facing the death of a loved one. Your challenges are real and we are all here for you