Husband Loss

Hi , first time on - I lost my husband after 43 years of marriage in October after a cardiac arrest. I know I am not alone in saying I feel I am living someone else’s life . It all seems unbearable and feel annoyed with myself that I should be stronger, but can’t see how to heal, seems like a monumentous climb and totally overwhelming.


I’m a bit further along than you, lost my husband February 2023. I know exactly what you mean and it does feel that we’re in a daze most of the time, just going through the daily tasks. I too had feelings that I should have done more and then try to be a lot stronger, but decided that I should just be myself. I still feel very lost most of the time but manage to have some good days. All I can say is that you listen to yourself and not other people, if you have days where everything gets too much then accept it. Also never pretend that everything’s fine, over time we just learn to deal with it but those feelings of being lost never really go. Take care Gail xx

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Things will definitely be good again just be strong and believe :ok_hand:

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@Antonine101 try not to feel annoyed at yourself, there’s no point it’s just another problem to deal with in a long line of horrible feelings and emotions. I know it’s not easy but seriously you’re entitled to not be strong right now. I’m 4 months into this dreadful journey but from what I have been reading the old stages of grief thing is a fallacy and one thing I’ve learned already is that I must try to be kinder to myself, yes sometimes I feel guilty that maybe I’m getting on people’s nerves etc but it can’t be helped. Apparently eventually it does get a bit easier to live with but as you say it is a hell of a climb and we feel totally overwhelmed at times.


Sorry for your loss , i was feeling the same as you when i lost my husband to terminal cancer, Do not be too hard on yourself ,i was told to take one day at a time ,or even hour by hour .My thoughts are with you


Thank you Gail, sorry about the loss of your husband. Really kind of you to offer kind words in the midst of your own sadness , I really hope you find your way too. Warmest wishes

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So kind to have replies, thank you - sending everyone best wishes and hope you all heal through time and day to day becomes more bearable

Very much the same, it is so hard trying to carry on. I have so many emotions at the moment I go from high to low in no time. I just want to feel myself again. Don’t think this is going to happen. I hate my new life.

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I pray you heal fast things will be more better again I fell the pain cuz I have loss a love one too

Sorry for your loss ,You are grieving ,i lost my husband 2 months ago in January 2024,Look after yourself ,try and be strong .My thoughts are with at this sad time.

Thanks so much for your kind words, so sorry about your own loss - it does feel surreal, as I’m sure you agree, but just have to accept it is going to take a long time and wish there was a magic formula but we just have to weather the storm and hope things become less painful

I am so sorry I lost my hubby of nearly 40 years 3 weeks ago, the pain is excrutiating, are there no widow groups that can come together and help one another, I can’t find any. We have mountain to climb I just hope I can.

So sorry to hear you too are grieving , it is horrific. I agree, there doesn’t seem to be any support network available

No support really cup of tea and chat and then they go, nobody to stay for a few weeks or so to ease the lonlelness, the nights are the worst. i go the the dark place but that is not what I want, it would be easy to end it but I don’t want to put my pain on others, it brutal. I wish all so much peace and happiness.

Nothing anyone can say will help, but we just have to adjust to a different life, a new life. Not what we had planned for, but hope we find the strength somehow

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