Hi, I’m new here. Just found your space and I hope it can help. My husband suffered a PEA cardiac arrest on 10/4/24. He was out for about 20 minutes and he suffered a severe anoxic brain injury. He has been in what they call the PVS ever since. (Persistent vegetive state-they now called the unaware wakefulness syndrome)
It’s been really hard because it’s only me and him and we have children. But they’re not old enough to understand really what’s going on. He’s really sick right now hasn’t kept any of his tube feeds down so they’re taking him off of it yet he is still throwing up.
I feel so alone and I thought he would’ve woke up by now… he’s awake. He’s just not aware of his surroundings. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever been through. He is my soulmate. My best friend. My partner. And I miss him so much yet I’m right beside him.
My heart is so heavy because I hate seeing him suffer and starting to think I should’ve took him off a life-support in the beginning. But at the same time, I didn’t know he wouldn’t wake up. Still don’t really. They say it could take a year. Just had a nurse coming here and chastise me for keeping him alive and she tried to tell me after two months, They don’t usually wake up. This is not what I’ve been told or what I know about brain injuries. And that just makes me furious when people do that. They have no idea what it’s like in my shoes how bad this hurts. And how hard the decision was.
So sorry you are going through this. Only you can decide what is best and what you can accept.
we all fear the future with death hanging in the air. you are in a hard spot. you really should have professional counseling to remove some of the burden. I read a book by a brain surgeon. a woman kept her husband alive well past any reasonable time. you do not want to be that person. I know when it comes to immediate family we cannot let go. especially of the hope. if you can seek a roundtable of professional opinions. also - if he did wake up, what would his life be like then. 
Hi ,
Your situation made my heart hurt . My husband was in the same situation - a coma he didn’t wake up from . He had a subarachnoid hemorrhage back in early February . He had a massive seizure when he reached hospital but before they could operate to stop the bleed . They did operate , but warned me it was a massive bleed and they couldn’t promise anything .
For a week or so he was totally unconscious , but then started to show signs of waking up . Opening his eyes , moving limbs etc . Then for 4 weeks things started to look promising although he was still unconscious most of the time he was showing more signs of wakefulness . But it wasn’t to be , his last 2 weeks things declined , they tried to take him off the ventilator but it became obvious he couldn’t breathe on his own for any length of time , and that his movements were just reflex really .
The last MRI showed no significant brain activity
The neurosurgeons here (UK) were very honest ,and said there was nothing more they could do and we should let him go, they said that even if they could keep him alive it would just be in a vegetative state and I know he would hate that . He spent his last few days in our local hospice and passed on march 21st at the age of 64 .
Those 6 weeks after his bleed were absolute hell , and to be honest I lost him that day in February.
Please think about what his life ( and yours ) would be like if you carry on . It’s so so hard I know . Is there any way you could get a scan like an MRI to see how his brain is functioning . It might help with your decision .
Our nuerosurgeon said if they’re not awake within 4 weeks , it’s unlikely they will ever wake . They gave Jeff 6 weeks because of his ‘ fluctuating consciousness ‘ hoping, like me things would improve .
If you need you can private message as I know what you’re going through .